Summer Camp Clothes for Rich People

by Tori Telfer

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I'm referring obviously, to summer camp — that halcyon week sometime in mid-July when we ran through fields of daisies and built tree houses with our bare hands, stopping only to splash merrily in secret ponds covered in ferns while writing love letters to our camp counselors. Those were the days, am I right?

Okay, so I never attended a traditional summer camp. I never sang around the campfire or roasted a marshmallow while staring with terrifying adoration into the eyes of the nearest pimply boy. I did attend a little thing known as piano camp for two simultaneous summers, and despite the horrifying number of auditions I failed, it was pure joy. There's something about being crowded into a disgusting dorm room with a bunch of other kids that's absolutely thrilling to a pre-teen. Shower shoes, come at me!

In honor of those lazy, crazy, hazy, sartorially questionable days of summer, I've rounded up adult versions of all our favorite camp staples. What once took you 5 minutes and a bit of yarn can now be purchased for the low, low price of hundreds of dollars. Isn't it great to be a grownup?

1. A friendship bracelet.

You and your BFF can exchange these glittering beauties at the end of the summer — as long as your BFF is a lawyer and you're a doctor, because otherwise, you're taking out a loan, my friend.

Frieda and Nellie Dance in the Sun Bracelet, $140,

2. Gym shorts

Sure, you could run laps in these bad boys — or you could sit by the pool and scream at the pool boy to bring you a martini.

Vince Camuto Metallic Shorts, $48.95,

3. A camp sweatshirt

I love camping... out in front of the cronut shop, you mean.

Wildfox Sweatshirt, $95.27,

4. An elegant lanyard

The trusty lanyard is more useful than ever, now that you have to keep track of the keys to five yachts and nine summer houses.

Sterling Silver Lanyard, $37,

5. Camouflage shorts

Not like you'd ever go into the woods, but you like to look like the type of high-powered NBC executive who might at some point consider venturing into the forest.

See by Chloe Denim Shorts in Watercolor Camo, $137.19,

6. Shower Shoes

They're Prada.

Flat Patent Leather Logo Thong Sandal, $390,

7. A tie-dye shirt

When your innocent little niece asks if you "made it yourself," laugh in her face and tell her that crafts are for people who can't afford to have Justin Bieber perform at their 5th birthday party.

Haute Hippie Tie-Dye Silk Draped Cutout-Back Top, $275,

8. A matching PJ set

You would have been teased mercilessly if you'd worn this silken PJ set to summer camp — but now that you're one of Facebook's original investors, no one will ever tease you again.

Natori Gala Notch Satin Pajamas, $119,

9. A tankini

Perfect for sitting on the Saint Tropez beach and eyeing rich divorcees while talking loudly on your iPhone about how you need that project "by EOD."

Betsey Johnson Underwire Peplum Bandeau Tankini Top, $76,