We are probably all united in our joy at the return of the legendary Miguel during this episode of Teen Wolf. But getting there...that's been a weird, rough....weird path. So weird. Also why? What is happening? How did we get here? Why did we get here? Where are we going from here? I have a few questions for the writers of Teen Wolf following the episode "117" and the apparent fact that Derek Hale is a teenager again:
- Lydia holds Derek's unconscious hand a liittle too long and volunteers a liittle too eagerly to stay with him at the beginning of this episode, which leaves me wondering: Are you setting up Lydia as Derek's new love interest? If that is the case: What the flying fuck? And also why? And also please don't. It this is not the case, please carry on with your day.
- Does hot vet/mystic Deaton have a love life when he's not counseling supernatural teenagers, and if not is he accepting applications?
- The fact that these kids have to swivel between helping their mopey twentysomething friend who just got turned into a teenager again and then go to, like, algebra is really fucked up. That's not a question, I'm just saying. I'm all for the "stay in school" campaign, but like, I'd understand if they dropped out or something.
- Is Malia Edward Cullen-ing Stiles, sneaking into his room every night? Is that cute? Is it weird? Is it OK? Do I care? Genuinely curious on all counts.
- Speaking of, does Malia have any developmental difficulties given that she, you know, was an eight-year-old the last time she was human and now she's 16?
- Did Derek really need the added manpain of seeing the ruins of his family home? How much manpain can one were-man handle?
- Can adorable Deputy Parrish get with Deaton or something and can we spend at least 15 minutes per episode on that pairing that just occurred to me instead of making me wonder if Malia's really in the mental place to be sexually active right now?
- Can the other half hour each episode should be spent watching Papa Stilinski and Mama McCall flirt/watch movies/spoon?
- Why, oh why — let me repeat: Why — was Derek Hale 17 again? Did you all get drunk together and watch the 17 Again with Zac Efron? Or was it the one with the Mowry sisters? Did you physically lose Tyler Hoechlin for an episode? Why is this happen? Is it "just 'cause"? I don't know if I can deal with "just 'cause."
- Just how much cackling and "This will overjoy the tumblrs!" happened in the writer's room when cooking up that Stiles/Miguel reprise? I'm thinking too much.
- Did you make Derek go all Zefron just for the Sterek possibilities? I gotta break it to you guys, you don't have to work that hard.
- Is there a deeper story behind Derek's deep attachment to Henleys or does he just wear them because he knows they make him look foxy?
- Old, reanimated Kate made out with young 17 again Derek? Whyyyyyyy? Why did you make me waaaatch that?
- Is Derek gonna show up at Beacon Hills high with a fancy convertible and a leather jacket next episode? Will his nonexistent daughter try to make out with him like she's Michelle Trachtenberg or will it just be another demon?
- Will one of the weird manticore skull things try to make out with Derek Hale, too?
- Further, is Derek Hale's penis its own hellmouth?
- Is this like the freaky Magic School Bus? What did Derek Hale learn from his time back as a teenager?
I don't even know.