Biting Biter Luis Suarez Probably Going to Play for Barcelona for a Cool $137 Million

Do you believe in justice in professional sports? This is not your story. It looks like biting biter Luis Suarez is moving to Barcelona for $137 million, and the decision is set to be announced in the next two days, according to NBC Sports. Suarez, a player for Uruguay who's currently signed to Liverpool, is the serial chomper who was recently banned for four months after taking down Italian player Giorgio Chiellini in the 2014 FIFA World Cup.

After the epic bite, which some said might jeopardize any possible deals he'd been working out with Barcelona or other clubs, Suarez eventually issued a kinda-sorta apology that almost took responsibility for what happened during the game, which Uruguay won. (The team was later eliminated in a game against Colombia in the Round of 16.)

Independent from the fallout and contradicting declarations that have surfaced during these past few days, all of which have been without the intention of interfering with the good performance of my national team, the truth is my colleague Giorgio Chiellini suffered the physical result of a bite in the collision he suffered with me. For this I deeply regret what occurred, apologize to Giorgio Chiellini and the entire football family and I vow to the public there will never be another incident like it.
Julian Finney/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

Worst apology ever. Suarez uses passive construction — Chiellini "suffered the physical result of a bite in the collision he suffered with me" — to basically absolve himself of any responsibility for what happened. At least grammatically. Still, he got a pass from Chiellini.

So apparently Chiellini's a good sport, anyway.

Though the hubbub over the bite (and all the bites preceding it) obviously didn't hurt Suarez financially, it sounds like Barcelona may have taken it into account in Suarez's contract. London's Express reports that the club included a "bite clause" to ensure the player keeps his teeth to himself.

Still, as NBC Sports notes, Suarez won the Premier League Player of the Season award this year after scoring 31 goals in 33 games. Apparently having a weird propensity to bite other people doesn't make a person any less of a soccer player, though it certainly may have an impact on a player's likeability.

Meanwhile, Uruguay has appealed FIFA's four-month suspension of Suarez, which also included a nine-game ban and a $113,000 fine.