Guys, Lady Gaga visited a bridal salon over the weekend. We’re not kidding. Does this mean that she and Taylor Kinney are getting hitched? Well, we're not so sure. Celebuzz reports that Lady Gaga went wedding dress shopping in Toronto and checked out some fantastic “big day” dresses. While most people go to bridal stores because they're, well, getting married, we know that Gaga's reasons for doing anything are typically not that obvious.
Sure, we’d love to think she's planning a wedding. I mean, that scenario has so much entertainment value. Think about it. Gaga shopping for wedding attire could be a special episode of Say Yes to the Dress (with a cameo from the Muppets, of course). Maybe she's just shopping around before heading over to Kleinfeld. I'd love to think that she gets Camille as her consultant and they bond over being so Italian. Gaga will sing "Yes" to a Pnina Tornai gown, embellished with Kermit heads on a special request.
However, we know that things are rarely that simple with Gaga. Literally every moment of her life is a brushstroke in the complex work of art that is her existence. How she prepares her coffee is a work of art, along with how she does her taxes. Each trip to the grocery store or the corner bodega becomes a statement. We think there may be something slightly more complex going on with Gaga's shopping trip. Beyond the obvious pedestrian reason that she’s just planning a wedding, here are all the reasons Lady Gaga was shopping for wedding dresses.
She’s looking for another everyday outfit.
Oh, well obviously she’s just looking for some summer
frocks. A spokesperson of Divine Decadence, the store she visited, told E!
Online that Gaga was just vintage shopping and mentioned nothing about a
wedding. She reportedly bought “two full racks of vintage clothing and
accessories,” and there were supposedly a few bridal dresses in her haul. Sure, "vintage shopping."
She’s buying Asia a new ensemble.
Uh, duh... ART!
She’s repurposing a vintage wedding dress into an
installation. Don’t you get it? It’s an homage to Duchamp’s ready-mades. Read a book!
Think about it: Runaway
Bride in the bedroom… There's a trip to sexytown.
She’s planning ahead for an eventual proposal.
Sometimes you find the perfect dress before you’re engaged,
right? Right?? If need be, she will marry herself.
What do you think? Are things exactly as they appear and Gaga is prepping to get hitched? Is the “vintage shopping” rationale just a cover? Or is this just fodder for her to make more art. It’s such a cliffhanger. If only she could just write a song about it and let us know!