Don't Miss 'The Bridge' Or Diane Kruger Will Pout

Alright, you gringos and gringas. Season Two of FX's The Bridge is coming in like a wrecking ball, and if you saw the pictures from the premiere party, you'll be crying just like Miley was in her video because you weren't there. There isn't much time for you to figure out where to watch it or how because it's kind of premiering very soon — Wednesday night, to be exact. Your favorite quirky detectives Sonya Cross and Marco Ruiz are taking Ciudad Juárez by storm this season, honing in on the Dead and Missing Women of Juárez case, in addition to the murder of a Mexican cartel member.

Ruiz is also trying to deal with the inherent corruption of the Chihuahua State Police, amidst waves of grief spurred by the murder of his son and being abandoned by his ex-wife, Alma. To be fair, he did cheat on her multiple times and his actions lead them to be pawns in the sick twisted chess game David Tate dreamed up.

The now hopefully sober Daniel Frye and his sidekick Adriana have just found an old woman's body in a house and a bathroom bursting with over 30 million dollars American. Oh, and did we mention Adriana's younger sister just went missing in Juárez?

What you've got is a mixture of earnest portrayals of Juárez a la HBO's The Wire, Breaking Bad style characters and villains, Game of Thrones style twists and character kills, and elements of the original source material Bron (or Broen if you're in Denmark) all thrown into a blender to create the Euro-noir inspired crime smoothie that is The Bridge. Sound amazing? Are you ready to dive head first into Season 2? Of course you are. Here's how to watch the season premiere:

WATCH IT ON DEMAND

FX provides a platform for you lucky niñas y niños to watch the most recent episodes, though you will have to wait roughly a day after the air date. If your cable provider doesn't grant you access to the sweet sweet spoils of the FX Network, hightail your hiney over to your best friend's house, your roommate's room, or to the humble abode of anyone who has an FX Network account. Pop open a new tab in your browser, and tweet your desperation into the Twittersphere. Hopefully somebody will DM you their login information and then you're good to go. ¡Si Se Puede!

BUY EACH EPISODE INDIVIDUALLY

Now, I already know what you're thinking. This isn't the most ideal alternative to cable, but hear me out. If you buy and download each episode individually, you can watch them whenever you want to, wherever you want to, with whomever you want to. You don't even have to wear pants while you watch. You can watch Episode 4 in the bathtub with a glass of wine and your cat sitting on the toilet seat. You can watch Episode 2 in your basement with your dad while he's folding the laundry. You can watch it in your younger sister's treehouse with your significant other right by your side. For between $1.99-$2.99 per episode, you won't miss out on all of the latest news from Juárez.

WAIT UNTIL IT'S FULLY LOADED ONTO HULU

Hulu has exclusive access to the entire first season. Now you can watch roughly three or four episodes without having Hulu+, but once you get that far, you're going to need some account information. You could, theoretically, wait until Hulu has access to the entire season, and then just binge it in one night. It's a very Orange is the New Black approach. You could have a viewing party with all of your closest friends. You could watch with your family. It doesn't matter. This option will leave you open to spoilers on social media, but if you're careful, this is a viable option.

NO MATTER HOW YOU CHOOSE TO WATCH..

This isn't a show to be missed. Season 1 was packed with action, romance, and thrills. You can bet your bottom Season 2 will top that.

Images: FX; Giphy; thebridgedaily/Tumblr (6)