You know what? Being Eva Mendes must be hard. Between people criticizing her drop-dead-gorgeous looks, passing judgment on her chic new clothing line, and picking apart her relationship with the most romantic man on earth, life just isn't a walk in the park for the 40-year-old actress. Most recently, news came out that Eva Mendes is pregnant with Ryan Gosling's child and is already seven months along. That's right, on top of all these unlucky aspects of her career as an extremely famous and successful actress, Mendes is plagued with something even worse than being nominated as The Sexiest Woman Alive or acting as the spokeswoman for a major beauty company. Like many poor, unfortunate souls before her, she’s been continuously followed by a never-ending stream of false pregnancy rumors, particularly after she started dating Gosling, 33.
While this condition isn’t considered necessarily serious, Mendes has found herself living in a constant state of fear, terrified to venture outside in a clingy t-shirt after a big meal in case baby bump spotters are lurking. If she skips the gym for a week or two, she has to sadly forgo wearing her trademark high-waisted pencil skirt, and if that isn’t a complete and total style travesty, then I don’t know what is.
Once upon a time, Mendes lived the normal, carefree life of an extremely famous and beautiful actress, but those days are far behind her now. Feel free to clutch your Ryan Gosling cutout and a few tissues, as we dissect the truly heartbreaking history of Eva Mendes’ imaginary pregnancies.
Tabloids had a feeding frenzy when a source told Star magazine that Mendes gave Gosling an ultimatum: give me a baby or give me death. Okay, not death, but that was the gist of it. She was apparently "off the pill and ready to become a mom."
When she stepped out in a pretty, loose-fitting tangerine dress to walk Gosling's dog, George (jeez, he even gives his dog a cute name), the baby rumors started flying. "Is that a little extra fabric, or the start of a genetically perfect human?" people wondered. "Is she stooping to pick up dog poop, or having morning sickness?"
A bold photog called out "Hey, Baby!" to grab Mendes' attention. Gosling a.k.a. Prince Charming immediately swooped in to yell back, "Who are you calling baby?!" Alright, alright. Not a pregnancy rumor per say, but who gets that testy over the term 'baby?' Come on, Ryan. Suspicious.
Some loose-lipped TSA screeners gabbed to the press about how Mendes caused a bit of a stir when she refused to pass through the body scanner because she had some extremely precious cargo on board. A baby, people, A BABY! She quickly and vehemently denied this while making an appearance on The Ellen Show.
Here it is, people. The sad, sad moment Notebook fans and Ryan Gosling-Rachel McAdams 'shippers have been dreading forever: a pregnancy rumor that might, for the first time, hold some legitimate weight.
Regardless of whether or not it's true, let's all take a moment of silence for Eva Mendes. Will she ever overcome this trend? Or is the latest rumor finally going to put an end to the madness when she confirms she's preggo with the golden spawn of Gosling? Only time will tell.