Time and time again, Lindsay Lohan has appeared on talk show after talk show, assuring the public and interviewers that she's not only in control of her life, but clean as well. But we've come to believe those assertions just as much as compliments from Regina George. After all, just days to weeks after their made, we've become accustomed to seeing Lohan's name in the tabloids for a car accident, fight, or post-traumatic stress felt by anyone who's ever watched I Know Who Killed Me.
But, during Monday night's Chelsea Lately, we actually believed Lohan when she told the audience, "I'm back, I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm sorry paparazzi, but if you want to take pictures of someone who's really fucked up, you're going to have to wait until Chelsea's back." Maybe that's because she actually does look healthy following a three-month stint in rehab. But, mostly, because films like Just My Luck and Liz & Dick have taught us that Lohan, despite her successes in Mean Girls and Parent Trap, Lohan is simply not a good enough actress to fake how good she looks.
It didn't take one reading of The New York Times Magazine profile of the making of The Canyons to understand that Lohan was a professional disaster on set. (We knew that all the way back during her Georgia Rule era, when Lohan was publicly lambasted by the movie's producers when hard-partying pics showed up amid her lessening work ethic.) But it took just one viewing of Monday night's Chelsea Lately to realize that Lohan is back to being a bonafide professional. In fact, Lohan was so adept at handling jokes typically reserved for the acid-tongued Chelsea Handler, that we're starting to wonder if acting — and not hosting — should be Lohan's day job.
Of course, part of Lohan's charm on Chelsea Lately came from her willingness to poke fun at her own shortcomings. Jokes like, "How come when Kanye acts like an idiot, he gets a gold record, but when act like an idiot, I get a police record?" and "[Harry Styles] was questioned by the interviewer about rumors that he's bisexual with a DJ named Nick. I've been there," were no doubt funny, even if it's clear the actress did not necessarily pen her own ribs.
What was far more impressive was the ease in which she took to the couch to interview the night's guest, Orphan Black's Dylan Bruce. Granted, Lohan — who has been interviewed time and time again — has probably picked up a tip or two, but she was such a natural sitting down with the actor, that, for once, we actually wanted to hang out with the Mean Girls actress. In fact, one of the funniest lines of the night appeared to be an ad libbed one, when Lohan told Bruce, whose Orphan Black centers around clones, "It would be really convenient to have a clone, I mean, for me ... I have one right now, it does all the bad shit."
Now, of course, we always have to reserve final judgment of a post-rehab Lohan for the weeks following her stint — here's hoping Lohan's bad clone has officially been killed off. (Though, the fact that Lohan has played twins twice in her career — in The Parent Trap and I Know Who Killed Me — makes you wish she did actually have an evil twin distracting the good one. I smell the next Lindsay Lohan vehicle, television?) But Lohan perhaps should consider a career change — one that capitalizes on the undeniable fact that the actress is no longer an actress.
The memes mocking Liz & Dick prove audiences are hesitant to take her seriously as a thespian, because she's not Elizabeth Taylor. She's not Anna Coleman. She's not even Cady Heron anymore. She's Lindsay Lohan. She's a personality. And if the Lohan that showed up on Chelsea Lately Monday night is the personality we'll get to see in the coming months and years, well, we want more. We don't want to see Lohan take on a new role — we want to see Lohan as herself, a woman who has been through more than most of her on-screen characters. Thank goodness we have an eight-part OWN documentary to look forward to.