David Duchovny's Upcoming Book Is Really Not What You'd Expect, At All

Never did I think that I would be writing about David Duchovny penning a book about talking animals, but I guess that's the funny thing about life: Things change, and sometimes we find ourselves in situations we never would have imagined in the past. Californication is over, and as his follow-up project, David Duchovny wrote a book involving talking animals that he described to Rolling Stone as "a fable, like Animal Farm or Charlotte's Web; an allegorical story using animals for people," and to GQ as "a, I don’t know if I’d call it a novel...novella sounds weird. Who knows what a novella is? [...] It’s kind of a fable. I don’t know if it’s a kid’s book, I can’t describe it, but it stars animals. But it also has grown up philosophical and political themes." This is reality, and though I never expected it, I will take it in stride.

So, David Duchovny is channelling his inner Hank Moody, only without all the sex and all the punching, and with talking animals who understand grown-up themes about philosophy and politics." Cool! Oh, and it's called Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale ? Things just got even more random, but I'll take it.

So, what is the book actually going to be about? Thanks to Vulture , we've got our answer in the form of the book's first in-depth description:

Fun fact: The name Elsie is a derivative of "Elizabeth," which the name "Bessie" is also a derivative of. "Bessie" is also a common term for "cow." Elsie is a cow! It fits!

Anyway, onward with the plot:

A pig named Jerry that converted to Judaism, likely with the realization in mind that pork is not considered Kosher? OK, that's kind of amazing. But wait, there's more — apparently, Shalom ends up having something to do with uniting Israel and Palestine:

I'm not even going to lie at this point, I will read this book when it comes out in February. It's a crazy concept, yes, but it does seem to be a pretty self-aware project (judging by its usage of irony in the description alone), and a less depressing version of Animal Farm...kind of.

Anyway, until it comes out — all there really is to do is bump this song, right? (You know I had to include this.)

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