Green Tea Is for Wimps, and 21 Other Things Only Coffee Lovers Understand
Some people can’t start their day without a hot shower; for others, it’s unthinkable that you’d get going without checking your email first thing; but for the coffee lovers among us, the most important part of your day is your very first cup of joe.
Although coffee consumption seems to be waning slightly — the National Coffee Association of USA’s National Coffee Drinking Trends study showed in March that the number of American adults who drink the brew daily has dropped to 61 percent, down from 63 percent in 2013 — those of us who count ourselves among the coffee-obsessed are still waving our java-colored banner high. So what if Starbucks just raised their prices? In the coffee world, we’ve still got goat cafés, butter coffee, and honor system experiments to keep us going. Besides, with the health benefits coffee affords us both inside and out, we’d all be doing well to have a little of the stuff every so often.
Not everyone understands the deep and abiding love most coffee enthusiasts have for their drink of choice, though; so coffee lovers, this one’s for you. Let us unite in our fondness for this dark and delicious beverage. Everyone else is just missing out.
1. Your roommates know not to bug you before you’ve had your first cup.
Because that’s the exact response they’ll get.
2. You have this kind of relationship with your favorite mug:
And you’re totally okay with it.
3. The day you came into possession of your first coffee maker was a turning point in your life.
4. So was the day you discovered French press.
5. And cold brew.
6. You tried green tea, and it just wasn't the same.
That stuff is for wimps.
7.You’ve been here:
8. And here:
9. And here:
10. The first iced coffee of the summer makes you feel like this version of Kristen Wiig:
11. And the first absurdly priced, extremely bad for you, absolutely delicious seasonal coffee drink of the fall or winter makes you feel like this version of Kristen Wiig:
Whether you’re a pumpkin spice latte fanatic, a gingerbread latte enthusiast, or flat-out addicted to any of those other concoctions that only rear their sugary little heads during the colder seasons, you look forward to the first one of the year with the same sort of anticipation with which five-year-olds look forward to their birthdays.
By the same token, though:
12. You take great joy in attempting to re-create these same drinks at home.
They’re usually just as delicious, and a fraction of the cost. Everybody wins! May we suggest Brokeass Gourmet's pumpkin spice latte recipe for your drinking pleasure?
13. The smell of freshly ground coffee beans makes you salivate.
14. When you realize you forgot to pick up more on your last grocery run:
15. Or when someone finishes the pot at work without bothering to make a new one:
16. You totally understand where Mr. Pink is coming from.
Although you also make sure you tip, even if you didn’t get your coffee cup filled six times. Because you’re not a jerk.
17. Agent Dale Cooper is your spirit animal.
18. You know the difference between coffee, espresso, and Americano.
19. And nothing sets your eye twitching like someone pronouncing “espresso” as “expresso.”
There is no x!
20. You know you probably drink too much of the stuff…
21. But they’ll have to pry your mug from your cold, dead hands before you give it up.
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