'Ladies of London' Noelle Plays Both Sides of the Caprice Versus Caroline Feud

Caroline Stanbury can certainly throw a beautiful dinner party. She can also alienate herself, subconsciously manipulate her friends, and make everyone uncomfortable…if she happens to feel like it. But damn, if that Cornish chicken isn’t delicious! No, no, the drama of Monday night’s episode of Ladies of London , bubbling just under the surface like Noelle’s British accent when she’s drunk, isn’t all Caroline’s fault — it’s equally the fault of everyone involved, as only a fight that makes little to no sense can be. And I can’t help but feel that if everyone would just listen to Annabelle, the woman who recently fell off a horse and gained a little perspective, then maybe they could all relax and get drunk together, as opposed to Noelle’s special brand of Town Car Anxiety Binge Drinking and Caroline’s special brand of Judgey-Eyed Judgment.

When considering that Annabelle, an other-worldly saint, comparatively, shattered her pelvis last week, it’s especially difficult to get up in arms about everyone simmering over who gets to throw a party that no one actually wants to throw, and ultimately, can’t actually be thrown at all...A WOMAN RECENTLY FELL OFF A HORSE MOVING AS FAST AS A TOYOTA CIVIC.

Even while her body is in severe pain, and under the operation of what one has to assume (and hope) is a heavy prescription of pain medication, Annabelle immediately and correctly assesses that what Caroline and Caprice have found themselves enthralled in, is not a tiff over who has to throw who which baby shower how far away, but a good old-fashioned power struggle. A few of Annabelle’s most solid bits of wisdom:

  • “I don’t think [the baby shower] is the issue. I think it’s just being used as the issue, but I don’t think it’s the issue.” Careful, Annabelle, you just might ruin reality TV with insights like these.
  • “We are all old friends, and both of you need to take the high road.” Settle down, surely everyone can’t be on their best behavior all at one time.
  • “It’s really tough losing the ability to move and control your body…it’s changed my way of looking at my life and given me a really positive outlook.” Who Is This Woman???
  • “All of this stuff is so minor and so small…you two are old friends and you can’t get let these things hold you back in life.” But they can let it define their social circle.

What Annabelle can’t see, on account of being bedridden for four months, is that Noelle has appointed herself to the position of Pawn in this particular baby shower/"leaving party" chess game. She thought she was doing an excellent job of trying to please both women by not taking a side, but mostly what she’s done is fuel Caroline and Caprice's respective power-fires, by telling each woman exactly what the other is saying behind the other’s back. And also, gotten pretty turned up on Moet on the way to Caroline’s dinner party.

It’s a dinner party that Caroline has still invited Caprice to, due to the way she's been "brought up" (I’m sure Rosemary the Etiquette Coach would approve), but acts shocked that Caprice actually decides to attend. Unfortunately, she’s arriving late from her lingerie shoot, in addition to having two buns in two different ovens, so we’ll have to wait until next week’s season finale to find out just how the squabble about a party that isn’t actually happening can be squashed at the party that was supposed to be a symbol of friendship.

The ongoing chess metaphor doesn’t bode well for C & C's friendship…after all, there can only be one Queen in the end (especially when all the pawns are drunk).