Christopher Walken Will Elevate 'Peter Pan' Because He Always Makes Movies Better
You've probably already heard the news, but just in case it needs reiterating: NBC is doing a live musical of Peter Pan. And before you go, "wait, isn't that a really bad idea after the disaster that was The Sound of Music Live ?", know that yes, it is a really bad idea — at least where quality is concerned. Ratings-wise, Peter Pan makes perfect sense; Sound of Music, for all its flaws, had 18 million viewers tuning in, and it's likely Pan will do equally well. Still, there's reason to be concerned. As Carrie Underwood proved, singing and acting live for three hours is as hard as it gets, and even the best costumes and stage designs can't make up for a bad production. Unfortunately, there's a pretty good chance that Pan won't be much good — which is why it's fantastic news that Christopher Walken is co-starring as Captain Hook.
Walken, you see, has a habit of elevating terrible movies simply by being a cast member. Whatever the reason, something about his being there, regardless of how small his role is, makes the worst movies watchable. There's no doubt that even if Peter Pan Live is a dud, Walken will manage to make it enjoyable. Basically, he's the Nutella of the movies. Six times where the actor's presence drastically improved a film:
Sorry, Click lovers: this was not a good movie. The Sandler-starring tearjerker was schmaltzy and dumb, and no amount of SNL stars in the cast or pop culture references in the script could save it from mediocrity — but Christopher Walken got pretty close. As Marty, the Bed Bath & Beyond employee in charge of a life-altering remote, Walken managed to make his scenes decently entertaining, if not particularly enjoyable. In a movie this bad, that's a major feat.
Alright, let's be honest: nothing could've saved Gigli. This scene, though, came pretty damn close — and no, don't ask me what's going on. I don't know either.
A View to Kill (1985)
Widely considered one of the worst James Bond films ever made, the only thing about A View to Kill that critics didn't blast was Walken's performance as a crazed, machine gun-toting supervillain. That, they said, was awesome.
Seven Psychopaths (2012)
Look, Seven Psychopaths wasn't a horrible film. At times, it was even pretty good. But it wouldn't have been memorable at all if Walken hadn't delivered one of his funniest, wackiest performances in years.
Jersey Boys (2014)
I didn't see Jersey Boys. You didn't see Jersey Boys. Basically, no one saw Jersey Boys. But I bet if we had, Walken's presence would've made sitting through a dull, uninspired biopic at least somewhat worthwhile.
Every Single Movie Where He Dances
It's impossible to be unhappy if Christopher Walken is dancing on-screen, and thankfully, he dances a lot. This amazing supercut shows is a reminder of the fact that we are lucky to live in a world where a few seconds of the actor's dancing is enough to save the worst movies from disaster and make already good movies even better. Please, Christopher Walken, do all of us a favor and never, ever retire. Okay?
Image: Columbia; MGM; Warner Bros