Britney Spears Forgot To Pay Her Cheesecake Factory Check & We Totally Get It
If you regularly read entertainment news, you more than likely know Britney Spears accidentally dined and dashed at a Thousand Oaks Cheesecake Factory last Sunday. Spears and boyfriend David Lucado left the restaurant before her bodyguard took care of the bill. According to TMZ, there was a misunderstanding of some sort that resulted in the check being left unpaid and forgotten. But! Brit-Brit righted this honest mistake immediately and gave the waitress a cool hundo as a tip. NICE.
As embarrassing as accidentally not paying would be in every other circumstance, Spears shouldn't be too embarrassed about this particular scenario. Hear me out: Going to the Cheesecake Factory is an overwhelming experience. The menus are bigger than my public high school yearbook, the dining room is rarely not bursting at the seams with patrons, the portions are daunting, and the whipped cream dollops on the cheesecake are as big as the cheesecake hosting said dollops. There's a lot to physically and mentally process. And occasionally, you just can't process it. Instead, your mind melts and then congeals. It turns into a pile of gelatin-like goo. A pile of gelatin-like goo that can only fixate on one thing: MOAR FOOD.
No, this isn't my way of saying "it's cool to forget to pay the tab and blame it on Cheesecake Factory." I'm only suggesting that you're not necessarily operating at 100% while at the Cheesecake Factory. You don't drink enough water. Miscommunications happen. You forget things. Sometimes, one of those things is ensuring your bodyguard snags the check.
Do you want more examples? I'll give you more examples:
Things you forget while you’re at Cheesecake Factory
Whatever it was you had a hankering for before you arrived
Oh, you wanted fettuccine Alfredo for dinner? Haha, TOO BAD. That specific craving goes out the window the moment you step through those wrought iron double doors. Your new craving: EVERYTHING ON THAT MENU. You might elect to nosh on Southern Fried Catfish or you could wind up wolfing down three Dulce De Leche milkshakes. All bets are off.
You have a toothache
You told yourself you'd avoid sugar. Spoiler alert: You don't avoid sugar. You double down on sugar.
Appetizers = Less Room For Dessert
Can't...resist...the... Deep Fried... Macaroni Balls.
Where the restrooms are
You've been to this Cheesecake Factory location countless times? No matter. The sensory overload of the restaurant will wipe your understanding of the layout entirely. The patterns in the carpet will swirl together and the decorative columns will appear to be moving. Before you know it, the family-friendly eatery will feel like the Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas reptile bar. You'll frantically tug on a server's sleeve and ask for directions to the restroom. He'll point to the the sign directly above your head. You almost had it.
Which Cheesecake You Tried Last Time
Was it the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake or the Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake? Whatever it was was the entire reason you went to Cheesecake Factory today. You should've written it down. Dammit. Guess you have no choice but to order one of each.
What? It's for cheesecake science.
How To Calculate The Tip
Sugar brain makes math hard. Thank goodness for cell phone calculators.
When you're ready to leave the CheeFact, you're so food-drunk that you absentmindedly abandon your bag of leftovers. Hours later, you remember the delicious sandwich half you left behind. You draw the blinds and take to your bed. You need some time to grieve.