This Coyote Got Married

by Mallory Schlossberg

In matrimonial news, Us Weekly reports that actress Piper Perabo tied the knot with Stephen Kay on Saturday, July 26, in NYC. Congrats to the happy couple! But if this news is causing you a bit of confusion, you're not alone. There's a good chance you saw the name "Piper Perabo" and thought, "Aaah, I can't remember for the life of me what she's been in! Is she on Covert Affairs? Maybe... But why do I really remember her?" Yes, the actress stars on USA's Covert Affairs, but her seminal role that you just can't think of is her lead role in Coyote Ugly, the greatest worst movie ever that glamorized bar dancers. Now do you remember? Would a little of Leann Rimes' "Can't Fight The Moonlight" help to jog your memory? Don't worry — we'll get to that later.

In honor of Perabo's recent nuptials, it's only natural to celebrate the movie that made me think being a Coyote would be really cool. (My thoughts 14 years later? Nope. Nope. Nope.) In case you don't remember the film about shaking your ass to self-discovery — or even if you do — let's recall some key facts, components, and moments from this great yet really, really terrible movie.

Because remember: You can try to resist... but you can't fight the moonlight.

It Was Based On A Real NYC Saloon & Totally Glamorized It

The Coyote Ugly is a real-life institution in New York City, famous for its grimy ambiance and bar upon which girls can jump up and dance. However, it's far from glamorous. As one Yelper puts it:

Ah, movie magic! But seriously, maybe avoid the bathroom if you actually do plan a visit.

The Moral Was "Want To Be A Songwriter? Pole Dance Until Your Dreams Come True."

No, no, no. I'm just kidding. Sort of. I think the intended moral of the movie was that if you really want something — a songwriting career in the protagonist's case — then you have to do whatever it takes to make it happen! Sometimes, my friends, that means pole dancing. Look, I'm not going to lie, that moment when she sings "One Way Or Another" made me want to belt out some Blondie at karaoke. In fact, I did! Except it was at Applebee's, so that's a very different sort of audience. Bring on the pecan chicken salad!

John Goodman As A Dad. Always John Goodman As A Dad.

Let me paraphrase what he says for pretty much the entire movie: "Is that my daughter dancing like a sexy harlot? Bring her back to New Jersey! Also, I'm in poor health and can't really tolerate this at the moment [emits angry sounds], but I will love her no matter what 'cause I'm really good movie dad."

Adam Garcia

This actor just made my tween self sweat a lot. He was really attractive then. Now, he's still pretty darn attractive.

Ben Pruchnie/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Yup. Still sweaty.

Tyra Banks

Before she yelled at models and told people to kiss her ass, she appeared in this movie as a Coyote. Oh, Tyra, you are the best.

That Leann Rimes Soundtrack

This was, quite possibly, the single most important part of the movie. Let me jog your memory briefly. "Can't Fight The Moonlight" anybody?

What about "The Right Kind of Wrong?"

And then there was "But I Do Love You." (And more importantly, the soooooo deep parallels between this song and the character's actual ascending love life in the movie. The glories of music in cinema!)

This Movie Is, To Quote The Song, "The Right Kind of Wrong"

With its starry-eyed "follow your dreams!" message and its strong cast alongside that very, very catchy soundtrack, this movie is definitely worth a revisit.

But as for the movie's leading lady Piper Perabo? Congrats to the actress on her marriage! She'll always be a Coyote to me — and really, that's a good thing.

Images: Giphy (4); Touchstone Pictures (2)