Why Is Lady Gaga in the Hospital? Don’t Worry, Mother Monster Will Be Just Fine
There's something weird going on with Lady Gaga, far beyond her usual silver lobster hats, barely there seashell bras, and Technicolor hair. Lady Gaga has been hospitalized following a tour stop in Denver, so paws together, Little Monsters, because the Queen of the artRave needs your prayers. Before any fans totally lose it, just know that Mother Monster is totally fine. In true Gaga fashion, she shared the news of her Colorado hospital stay via Instagram selfie early in the morning on Aug. 7, cluing in her fans to 1.) her incredible eyelashes, 2.) the fact that she may or may not be naked, and 3.) an alarming face mask that obscured the rest of her priceless mug. WTF Gaga?! You can’t just spring something like that on everyone!
The non-life threatening reason for Gaga’s hospital stay was thankfully cleared up immediately since she so helpfully captioned the selfie with,
Altitude Sickness is no Joke! #hitThatHospitalShit #artRaveDenver many true ravers crowd tonight
Everyone can breathe a quick sigh of relief that the woman who brought us epic ear worms like "Bad Romance," "Telephone," and more than a few controversial videos to discuss around the water cooler isn't about to kick the bucket. Someone cue the... wait for it... APPLAUSE! Hah.
While for now Gaga is in good spirits, this incident is actually a little bit worrisome. If she's susceptible to something like altitude sickness, what other diseases are lurking out there, ready to take down the "Do What U Want" singer? I can think of a few that she should be extra careful to avoid while on tour.
1. Salmonella From Raw Meat
Thanks to her penchant for wearing gowns made of fresh cow, Gaga needs to keep an eye out for germs that might be just waiting to pounce. Who would've ever thought strapping a few bloody steaks on your body would be unhygienic? Oh, that's right, EVERYONE.
2. Heat Stroke From Hanging Out Inside A Giant Dinosaur Egg
In an effort to really hammer in the metaphor behind "Born This Way," Gaga emerged from a big ol' egg at the 2011 Grammy Awards. Subtle. While this definitely captured everyone's attention for its typically-Gaga level of theatrics, we hope that the egg had at least few breathing holes. Maybe a full on air conditioning? It looks steamy in there.
3. Swallowing (And Then Vomming) A Bunch Of Paint
In her latest appearance at SXSW, Gaga made a big statement (one big, gross, disgusting statement) when she had "Vomit Painter" Millie Brown upchuck a bunch of black paint all over her during the performance. While I'm not sure why this would ever be appealing, let's hope Gaga can keep her diet Sherwin-Williams free.
Feel better, Mama Monster!
Image: Lady Gaga/Instagram