Entertainment

Your First Day Back to School: Reality vs. TV

by Arielle Dachille

Aug. 7, 2014

Ah, the first day of school — that fated event you've been through countless times in your life. Still, each year when late August rolls back around and you get your class schedule for the next year, it feels like it's the very first time again. As pop culture is wont to do, TV loves to embellish the back to school experience. Sometimes, they are pretty spot on. Other times, they take the tiniest foibles and exaggerate them like crazy. In other cases, they just totally make things up. The representations are often absurdly glorious, but they can frequently beg the question "really, guys?"

From choosing your first day outfit, to finding your niche in the lunchroom, to being the new kid, these prototypical first day events go down somewhat differently in real life than on the boob tube. For one, there are no voice-overs. Secondly, your high school will probably not have a courtyard or an outdoor lunch room. That is, unless you live in California. (That part is true on TV, isn't it?) But, just like on television, nobody gets any work done on the first day. At least they got that right. Forget what Full House taught you. As compared with reality, here's how the TV version of the "first day" experience shacks up.

Choosing Your First Day Outfit

TV:

Choosing your outfit is about the most important thing ever.

Real Life:

Obviously, this is totally true.

Reinventing Yourself

TV:

A new year means a chance to totally reinvent yourself!

Real Life:

Even if your outfit is poppin', people still remember you from the previous years. Generally, nothing changes.

Seeing Your Crush

TV:

You see your crush for the first time in three months. Your eyes lock, and you can cut the sexual tension in the room with a butter knife.

Real Life:

You sneak creepy glances, until your crush sees you, then quickly look away. Smooth operator is your hyphenated middle name.

Seeing a New Student

TV:

On TV, everyone is intrigued by the mysterious new girl. I mean, remember Jen Lindley?

Real Life:

In real life, new kids get ignored just like everybody else. Sorry n00b.

Opening Your Locker

TV:

On the telly, your locker is impossible to open.

Real Life:

In real life, your locker is impossible to open.

Eating Lunch

TV:

Lunch period is the most horrifying part of the day on the telly, and often people end up eating lunch on the toilet. If you're DJ Tanner, you opt for a phone booth instead.

Real Life:

In real life, lunch can suck if you don't have it at the same time as the rest of your friends. If all your friends are around though, it's the best time of the day. After all, food!