'Once Upon a Time' Anna & Kristoff's Wedding Will Be the Worst Thing to Ever Happen to Them
In case you somehow haven't heard yet, Once Upon a Time is bringing Frozen to Storybrooke. The whole plotline was launched when Emma Swan and Captain Hook returned from the past, unaware that they also came back with an urn that contained Elsa the Snow Queen of Arendelle. Elsa destroyed the urn with her ice magic in the best twist scene in Once Upon a Time history and then she sashayed into town. Since then, we've been keeping on top of even the slightest rumor and spoiler about the hotly anticipated season 4 and one of the best spoilers is that Anna and Kristoff are getting married. At least, we assume it's Anna and Kristoff. Elsa certainly wouldn't be this happy about helping Anna plan her wedding to Prince Hans.
However, when you think about it, preparing for a wedding is just about the worst thing Anna could be doing and, in fact, could be the entire explanation behind how Elsa ended up in Rumpelstiltskin's vault (and thus in Storybrooke) to begin with. After all, weddings on Once Upon a Time tend to be events of great plot significance not because two characters are getting married but because something terrible is either about to happen or is happening during the ceremony. There's no way that Anna and Kristoff's wedding is going to end well when you consider how these four weddings turned out.
Snow White and Prince Charming's First Wedding
The Event: After being cursed by King George to be unable to bear children, Snow White worries about telling Charming considering how excited he is to start a family with her. Through a convoluted series of events, Charming's mother, Ruth, tricks Snow into drinking a potion that breaks the curse even though it could have been the only thing that could save Ruth from dying. Her final wish was to get to see Prince Charming and Snow White marry before she passed away, so they had a private ceremony for her.
The Problem: Prince Charming's mother died during the ceremony. It was kind of awkward. At least, it was for me.
Snow White and Prince Charming's Second Wedding
The Event: Having defeated the Evil Queen and taken back their kingdom, Snow White and Prince Charming have a bigger, more official wedding with all of their friends and subjects invited to attend. This joyous occasion is about 1/4 a wedding and 3/4 a celebration that none of them died in the battle to take down Regina once and for all, I imagine.
The Problem: The Evil Queen interrupted the ceremony to inform everyone that this was the last happy day they would have for a while because she was planning to curse them forever. Cue the entire plot of Once Upon a Time.
Cinderella and Prince Thomas' Wedding
The Event: After a hard life spent slaving away doing chores, Cinderella gets the opportunity to attend the royal ball thanks to her fairy godmother. By which I mean thanks to Rumpelstiltskin, who kills the fairy godmother and offers Cinderella a deal to help her improve her life in exchange for something that probably didn't seem too likely at the time. At the ball, Cinderella meets Prince Thomas and the two fall in love. Snow White was even at the wedding.
The Problem: Rumpelstiltskin interrupted the festivities to remind Cinderella that she had made a deal with him to give him her firstborn. This probably could have been avoided had Cinderella read the contract before she signed it.
Rumpelstiltskin and Belle's Wedding
The Event: After three seasons spent getting together only to be ripped apart (plus 28 years during which they didn't even remember each other), Rumpelstiltskin and Belle were reunited and decided to use that precious time to have a secret wedding ceremony. It was held out in the woods and only had one other attendant at the time, probably because Rumpel was wise to how weddings usually end on this show.
The Problem: Rumpelstiltskin is lying to Belle about trusting her with his dagger and the fact that he used it to kill Zelena behind her back. This is going to come back to bite him in the butt in season 4, so I don't expect Anna and Kristoff's wedding is going to fair much better.
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