The latest news in the life of funnyman Chris Kattan is no laughing matter. The Saturday Night Live alum — who also costarred with Will Ferrel in the flop A Night at the Roxbury — was arrested on DUI charges in February of this year after a 911 call reported him swerving at a dangerously slow pace on the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles. It's a good thing a call was placed, because Kattan — who we've since learned had Ambien in his system at the time — went on to drive his 2011 Mercedes into not only a guard rail, but also a California Department of Transportation vehicle. Scary stuff. TMZ is now reporting that Kattan's sentencing is complete, and it does not look pretty. Here's what his future looks like:
1. He will spend the next three years on probation.
2. He will have to attend a 3-month alcohol program.
3. He will have to attend 104 Narcotics Anonymous classes.
4. He will have to pay a $500 fine plus any restitution for damages.
5. He will have to take part in a Hospital and Morgue program (aka a "scared straight" kinda deal).
None of those five points sound like a good time to me — and it could have been a whole lot worse — so can we just all agree to not drink and/or do drugs and drive? Please and thank you.