'SNL' Alum Pays Big Time For His DUI

The latest news in the life of funnyman Chris Kattan is no laughing matter. The Saturday Night Live alum — who also costarred with Will Ferrel in the flop A Night at the Roxburywas arrested on DUI charges in February of this year after a 911 call reported him swerving at a dangerously slow pace on the 101 Freeway in Los Angeles. It's a good thing a call was placed, because Kattan — who we've since learned had Ambien in his system at the time — went on to drive his 2011 Mercedes into not only a guard rail, but also a California Department of Transportation vehicle. Scary stuff. TMZ is now reporting that Kattan's sentencing is complete, and it does not look pretty. Here's what his future looks like:

1. He will spend the next three years on probation.

2. He will have to attend a 3-month alcohol program.

3. He will have to attend 104 Narcotics Anonymous classes.

4. He will have to pay a $500 fine plus any restitution for damages.

5. He will have to take part in a Hospital and Morgue program (aka a "scared straight" kinda deal).

None of those five points sound like a good time to me — and it could have been a whole lot worse — so can we just all agree to not drink and/or do drugs and drive? Please and thank you.

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