Jennifer Lawrence & Chris Martin Are Dating & What Is Happening in the World?! — REPORT

You guys! You guys. (Imagine that second one said in a low, very incredulous voice.) The newest celebrity couple news will shock you. SHOCK YOU. (That is, if you keep up with things like celebrity couple news.) And I'm not just saying that to get you excited and then going to be like, "It's Anna Kendrick and her new puppy!" This is actually that good. Oh, you already gathered it from the title? In that case I'll get right to it. Reportedly, Jennifer Lawrence is dating Chris Martin. I KNOW.

According to E! News, "multiple sources" have confirmed that Lawrence (gasp!) and Martin (say whaaat?!) are dating. "We're told that the pair has been spending quality [time] together since late June after the Oscar winner split with her X-Men costar Nicholas Hoult." E! also points out that in January, Lawrence was asked something about the UK and said, "I'm a big fan of all things British. I get to spend some time there now and again and I like that I can go for fish and chips wearing the most awful outfit and it's cool, you know." Any sane person knows this quote is totally unrelated (and that her ex Nicholas Hoult was also British) BUT OMG, YOU GUYS, WHAT IF SHE WAS TOTES CRUSHIN' ON CHRIS MARTIN?!?!

A Lawrence-Martin relationship would be strange for a number of reasons. For one, Lawrence broke up with her boyfriend, Hoult, in June, reportedly, because their careers kept them too busy for a relationship. What? Is Chris Martin not busy? Dude is in Coldplay and has two kids! Of course he's busy. Plus, Lawrence is definitely still working hard. She has The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 coming out in November, as well as four other movies in various stages of production.

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Martin and Lawrence would also be an odd pairing because, well, look at who Martin was with before. Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lawrence could not be more different. Sure, they both have Oscars, but can you imagine Gwyneth Paltrow talking about Doritos?! (Well, maybe if she was saying, "I never let my kids eat, hmmm, what are those peasant chips called . . .?") Maybe Martin's just been missing junk food and Lawrence knows all the good bodegas.

As for a third reason — it's Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin! Do you really need a third reason?!

There isn't much information available about this supposed new duo yet, so rather than taking this news with a grain of salt, you should swallow three tablespoons of salt and then go get your blood pressure checked. There's also a chance that in honor of her birthday on Aug. 15, J. Law released this rumor about herself for fun.

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