In case you haven't heard, Disney isn't giving Frozen a sequel. Or so they claim. They've found other ways to continue the story, from a Disney on Ice show to a series of books, but it wasn't until Wednesday morning that they announced their latest loophole. Apparently, Disney is doing a short film called Frozen Fever that will follow Elsa and Kristoff as they work to give Anna the happiest birthday that has ever been had in Arendelle. So, basically, Disney won't make a sequel to Frozen , but they'll make short film sequels to Frozen. Well, okay, Disney. As a Frozen fan, I can work with that.
The problem is that there's just so much about Frozen that's totally deserving of a short film. Anna's birthday probably wouldn't have been the first thing I would have chosen, but it's a good start. The keyword there is start. What Disney should really do is make a collection of short Frozen films for the fans to enjoy, like Beauty and the Beast: Belle's Magical World. Except, you know, of better quality than your average Disney sequel. In fact, I've got ideas for what Frozen stories they need to tell in short films next. I hope you're taking notes Disney.
1. Hans and His Twelve Brothers
One of the most interesting parts of Frozen was the sociopathic villain Hans, who managed to charm Anna and the audience straight up until the part where he dropped us in our hour of need. Damn those sideburns! Hans' punishment for trying to kill the two heirs to the Arendelle throne was to be sent back home to his twelve brothers in the Southern Isles, so I'm imagining a whole family of unquestionable badasses more fearsome than Chuck Norris. Let's see them, Disney.
2. Anna's Wedding
To be honest, when I heard that Disney was doing a Frozen short film, I assumed it would surround the circumstances of Anna and Kristoff's wedding. A short special sequel to Tangled, Tangled Ever After, was about Rapunzel and Flynn's wedding, after all. Since Frozen Fever won't be focusing on that, then they already need to produce a second short film to show all those Kristanna shippers that true love conquers all — when you've known the guy for longer than one day.
3. Elsa's Second Issue as Queen
I would have asked to see Elsa's first issue as queen, but I think her first issue was the whole revealing-of-ice-powers and dropping-her-kingdom-in-eternal-winter thing. In fact, what if the second issue she has to deal with as queen is the repercussions from the first issue? I mean, does every person in the kingdom forgive her for endangering their lives and livelihoods in the movie just because she's sorry, it was an accident, and she has control now? How would Elsa deal with that guilt?
4. Marshmallow Comes home
Luckily, we got to see that Marshmallow survived his fall and returned to Elsa's ice palace in order to try on the crown that she'd discarded, but the rest of his journey would totally be a good plot for a short film. Maybe Marshmallow makes his way down the North Mountain and to the castle, where he must prove his worth as the protector of the royal family even though everyone but Elsa is afraid of him.
5. Olaf and Sven's Side Adventures
Olaf and Sven basically have a bond that will last all time and with Kristoff now spending tons of time with Anna and with Elsa busy running a kingdom, I don't doubt that they're going to become even closer friends. What about a short film that follows an adventure that Olaf and Sven go on together, maybe one in which they save the kingdom from danger that no one even finds out about because they stopped it in time?
6. Anna Returns to Wandering Oaken's Trading Post (and Sauna)
Anna would have frozen to death if she hadn't come across Wandering Oaken's Trading Post (and Sauna) and gotten winter clothes and the means to bribe Kristoff into taking her up the mountain. Hell, she would never have even met Kristoff. A short film in which Anna returns to Wandering Oaken and maybe helps Oaken expand into an even bigger business — plus a montage of Elsa and Anna building the store together — would be adorable.
7. Anna and Elsa and Rapunzel
There was a Disney bonus in the crowd on Elsa's coronation day, which was attended by Rapunzel and Flynn Rider from Tangled. Where's my cross-over short film featuring three badass ladies who fight with a frying pan (Rapunzel), ice magic (Elsa), and anything she can get her hands on (Anna)? Please, Disney, please!