Are Robert Pattinson And New GF In It To Win It?

by Quinn Keaney

Now that everyone has had sufficient time to cry it out, write a few tear-stained diary entries, and perform some poetry at the local coffee house, we can all face the fact that Robert Pattinson has a new girlfriend, and unfortunately, it's not any of us. As sad as it may be to accept the news that Cedric Diggory's love for you does not burn like a dying phoenix, or that Edward Cullen hasn't chosen you to birth his half-vamp, half-human spawn, there is one bright side to the whole situation: his supposed new girlfriend actually seems pretty cool (not cool enough to make me not hate her a little bit, though), and perfect for Pattinson.

The gal in question is Tahliah Barnett, a 26-year-old singer from London who's more commonly known by her stage name FKA Twigs, and her incredible debut album LP1. All of her songs are intimate, breathy, pulsating, and therefore perfect to swap spit to with an actor whose name starts with an 'R' and ends with '-obert Pattinson.' As much as it pains me to say, there's a lot about this potential couple that makes a whole lot of sense.

They could sing a bangin' duet

While Pattinson hasn't made a career off of being a singer-songwriter the way Barnett has, he did sing two songs in the Twilight movies, and he honestly isn't half bad. His acoustic style + FKA Twigs beats? Musical perfection.

She can bring RPatz out of his shell

One thing is for sure: Barnett is no Kristen Stewart. Her lyrics are crazy honest, she's refreshingly blunt, and she used to be a back-up dancer for superstars like Jessie J, Taio Cruz, Kylie Minogue, and Plan B. If she ever decides to teach Pattinson some moves, PLEASE GOD let some cameras be around to capture it.

Both of them are from across the pond

She grew up in Gloucester, and he in London. I sense a nice, romantic dinner over fish and chips in their future!

They could start their own hipster clothing line

The two of them just reek of organic sweaters and trendy overalls made of hemp and faux-leather. It's like they're a walking Williamsburg campaign.

Their relationship would put the nail in the "are they or aren't they" coffin for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

Sorry, Bella, but that ship needs to SAIL.