Halfway through the two-month holiday season, someone once morosely told me, "Halloween is the last thing standing between civilization and Christmas." But it seems that not even Halloween can keep us safe anymore; Kmart has just released a Christmas commercial. It is September! You cannot do this to us!
Kmart is trying to be cute about it, calling the spot the "Kmart Not a Christmas Commercial," but it's still a Christmas commercial. The ad starts by saying, "This is not a Christmas commercial. However, let's say you have an event in late December that you need a lot of gifts for. Like, maybe your entire family is having a birthday on the same day." And then it goes on to include a tree, a reindeer, elves, Santa Claus, and an explanation of how to put Kmart orders on layaway for your "Merry Birthday" celebration.
No, Kmart, no! Just...No!
Apparently it wasn't already enough for corporate America to inflict upon all of us a two-month-long Christmas season that starts up November 1st. No, now they want to start it up in the first week of September. Labor day was less than a week ago. The temperature is still in the mid-80s. The first day of fall isn't even here yet. And yet we have a Christmas commercial.
So for those of you keeping track of the "War on Christmas," Christmas is winning that war so thoroughly that it has not only defeated Thanksgiving and Halloween, but has conquered all of October and most of September. Will it's triumphant march across the whole of the calendar continue? God, I hope not.