Eddie For Most Valuable Pizza, Er, Player

by Kristie Rohwedder

Without a doubt, Kate’s “rocket ship” blanket was the star of Tuesday night’s Below Deck. Woo-WEE! That dong sculpture was the talk of the yacht. If primary charter guest Dean had not appreciated the wiener blanket's star power, the crew might've thrown Kate overboard. Fortunately, primary charter guest Dean proved what an eye for fine art he has, and he gave the crew a big tip for the big tip (sorry, I had to do it). As for episode MVP? That award goes to Eddie.

Last Tuesday, Eddie lost a deckhand. This Tuesday, one of the two remaining members of his crew planted a smooch on the other's face. Eddie's fears about Jennice and Kelley's flirting have materialized: the deckhands were snatched up by the unrelenting tentacles of the love octopus that lurks beneath the Ohana. To quote Eddie: "That's not good."

The deck crew will probably implode in one of the coming episodes, and Eddie knows it. Even so, he will try with ever fibre of his being to be the best goddamned bosun he can possibly be.

Will he gripe about being short a deckhand? Sure, he's only human. Will he be annoyed when the stewards ask him to help them out after he just sat down? Yeah. Again, he's only human. Will the thought of setting up a beach party exhaust him? Uh huh, but dude had had a long day. He's. Only. Human.

Wait, what's that? You want to know what Eddie would do if he was asked to tag in for Kate (who had tagged in for Ben) and prepare two pizzas for a group of schnockered charter guests at one in the morning?

Here's your answer:

Forget "he is only human." He is only TERRIFIC human.


Images: Bravo; jelenarulestheworld/tumblr