11 Things On Every Basic Bitch's Grocery List – And One Thing That Should Never Be
One of the most obsessively thought out aspects of a Basic Bitch's life is food; what she eats – and what she doesn't eat – is the epicenter from which all other manifestations of Basicness are born. Preparing to shop for food is almost as important as the actual shopping, preparing, and eating of the food. Basic Bitches cannot make enough lists. Give them all the lists, please. They love pens, Post-Its, and notebooks for days when they're feeling like a Meg Ryan Adorable Basic (mostly on Sundays), and they love apps that can perform the same functions for days when they feel more like a Take Charge Modern Professional Organized Basic.
In other words, grocery lists say a lot about who a Basic Bitch is, and it is all taken very seriously. Basics craft their grocery lists with the same laser precision they apply to their eyebrows, and they are never complete without the following items:
- Skinny Girl margaritas
- Special K
- Diet soda
- Aveeno everything (because Jennifer Aniston)
- Tory Burch flats (Note: Preemptively adding this to grocery list in anticipation of the inevitable day when Whole Foods starts selling these as impulse purchases at the checkout.)
- Whatever book Lauren Conrad is reading or has recently written or whatever. Anything that is in some way Lauren Conrad approved.
- Pita chips (For when they feel naughty.)
- Plain yogurt
- Stevia packets (It’s the new Sweet N’ Low)
And if there's anything that Basic Bitches are into more than a flawless grocery list (and using the world "flawless"), it's dropping tragically unsubtle hints to their boyfriends about getting engaged. So let us all bow down to the Queen Of All Basics – this woman who found a way to combine the acquisition of avocados with a reminder that her hitchin' finger is getting cold.
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE STEREOTYPES.
Seriously, thanks for making it that much harder for women to overcome the cliché that we're all glassy-eyed, diamond-hungry zombies who are perpetually angling to trap our boyfriends into a hasty matrimonial prison. THANKS.
Images: Reddit; Giphy