The final episode of season 16 of Big Brother airs on Wednesday and we're finally going to discover exactly which one of the remaining house guests will win the half a million dollars. Yawn. At this point, does it even matter? Listen, I've thoroughly enjoyed this season of Big Brother, from Zach and Frankie's "Zankie" showmance to constantly yelling at Caleb to leave Amber alone already, but I know I'm not the only one thinking that this season was boring. When it goes down in Big Brother history among the other 15 seasons that came before it, the only memorable thing about season 16 is how it didn't really deliver on that promise to be the twist-iest summer ever.
Then again, I suppose it depends on what definition of twist-y is being used. Big Brother season 16 did introduce a lot of new elements to the Big Brother competition that I assume were supposed to make it interesting. Instead, we got a fairly predictable snooze fest of a season whose only twists came from surprise guests and guessing what footage would make it from the feeds onto the broadcasts.
1. We always knew how everyone would vote.
How many unanimous votes can you fit in a single season? It was a rare and interesting time when votes were actually split on eviction day, because the Bomb Squad alliance was so big and was formed so early that whatever person they wanted out was the person going home. No exceptions. No excitement.
2. The first alliance formed dominated the game.
The Bomb Squad alliance was formed incredibly early and made up of so many people that it was no trouble for them to sweep the votes every week. The only reason the house guests outside of the Bomb Squad lasted so long was because they needed pawns to help send the big players home. Otherwise we weren't watching Big Brother; we were watching Big Bomb Squad.
3. The blindsides were few and far between.
For the most part in season 16, house guests either kind of guessed they were going home or were told outright that they were. The only blindsides came when Caleb went home when his remaining alliance members turned on him and when Hayden was sent home when the house flipped behind his and Nicole's backs. Otherwise, the only point in tuning in for eviction days was to see the new footage from the feeds because the live eviction was predictable and boring.
4. No one made any big moves.
The most powerful players all lasted until the end of the competition because everyone was afraid to target them when they made HoH. Cody had the chance to send Caleb home early on and ended up sticking with his alliance instead. Caleb literally had to have someone hold his hand in order to get him to nominate Frankie and he still felt the need to tell him first. Honestly, this was less of a competition and more of a group of friends (aka alliance members) hanging out in a house all summer and sending home their annoying neighbors.
5. Everyone cleaned up their act or had it cleaned up for them.
Zach and Caleb were both asked to clean up their social networking sites by production prior to entering the Big Brother house. And while I'm not complaining that season 16 was less horrifically racist than season 15, there was a distinct lack of scandal that made this season kind of a snooze fest. Our only two scandals were Frankie's inappropriate and horrific jokes and commentary not getting any CBS airtime and the suspicion that Frankie's solo BoB competition was rigged to allow him to win. Neither of those are so much scandals as they are yawn-worthy. Sorry, Big Brother. Maybe season 17 will be your twist-iest summer yet.
Image: CBS (6)