I often wax poetic about donuts; they’re one of my favorite baked goods, and
there have been enough delicious variations on the theme recently to warrant a
certain amount of florid prose (except for that whacko Buffalo chicken donut,
because ew). If you’re getting sick of it, though, brace yourselves — more is
coming, because Krispy Kreme UK just unveiled a box that holds a whopping 2,400
donuts. They’re calling it the Double Hundred Dozen, and it is truly a thing of
magnificence. Be still, my fried dough-loving heart!
This glorious monstrosity was apparently created to promote Krispy Kreme UK’s Occasions program, which allows you to have all your large-scale functions catered by Krispy Kreme. According to FoodBeast, the box, which measures 11.5 by 3 feet, is so hefy that it requires eight Krispy Kreme staffers to deliver it. Alas, though, Krispy Kreme UK’s website doesn’t have it listed on the menu; it appears to have been the prize for a contest the bakery chain recently ran on Twitter using the hashtag #BigOccasion. Here’s hoping the winner, 360 Resourcing, tweets loads of celebratory images of the office devouring its winnings — because if I can’t have 2,400 donuts, at least I can live vicariously through those that do.
Even if the Double Hundred Dozen isn’t a permanent menu fixture, though,
I kind of think it should be. Just imagine how many potentially snoozeworthy
events could benefit from such a delightful addition! Here’s my list — got any to add? Tell us about 'em on Facebook and Twitter!
Weddings are the obvious choice, but seriously. Who needs a bland, fondant-covered hunk of sponge when you can have 2,400 donuts instead? If I ever tie the knot, I’m totally having a donut tower instead of a cake.
2. The Office Holiday Party
Gorging yourself on Krispy Kreme is way better than getting drunk and hooking up with your co-worker who sits three cubicles down from yours.
3. Justin Bieber Concerts
Free donuts might make the Biebs a little easier to stomach (har har).
4. Any and All Comic-Cons
New York, San Diego, Dragon Con… it doesn’t matter which one. There can’t possibly be a more wonderful image than that of Deadpool, Princess Bubblegum, Skeletor, and Lara Croft all chowing down on Krispy Kreme together.
Because then you can crown the Prom King and Queen in glazed deliciousness instead of pig's blood.
Peace, love, and donuts.
7. Awkward Family Gatherings
Awkward questions happen much less frequently when everyone’s mouths are full of Krispy Kreme.
8. Renaissance Festivals
Who cares that they’re not historically accurate? Just think of the beautiful poetry all the wandering bards will be able to write!