Aziz Ansari is Writing a Book on Love But Here's What Tom Haverford Would Say, Instead

Writing a book has basically become a requirement for comedians. From Ellen DeGeneres to Mindy Kaling to Tracy Morgan to Rob Delaney and many, many more, you could spend months just reading the essays, memoirs and random thoughts of various funny people. Aziz Ansari is the latest work on a book, but it's not exactly what you'd expect. Rather than going the autobiographical or essay route, the stand-up and star of NBC's Parks & Recreation is analyzing the state of dating in 2013.

Yup, Tom Haverford is getting serious. Well, the man behind him. Ansari posted a section of The Atlantic's article about the project on his Tumblr today, describing more of the book.

You know when you text someone you’re romantically interested in and you don’t hear anything back and then you see them post a photo of a pizza on Instagram? That’s exactly what I want this book to deal with. These are strange conundrums that no generation has ever faced before and it’s a fascinating jumping off point for what I hope will be a very interesting book about modern courtship.

The book will feature more than just his own observations, as Ansari has apparently been talking to academics and others about the topics. But even with all of this research and professional-talk, it should still be funny. It might be physically impossible for Ansari to ever not be, and much of his stand-up material is about dating. You should remember, however, that it's the real Ansari and not his Parks alter-ego Haverford writing the book. But what would a book on relationships by Pawnee's biggest (wannabe) player look like? Here's some of Haverford's advice on love.

How to Walk Into a Room

Get Out of the Friend Zone

Impress with Your Vocabulary


Show Off Those Dance Moves

Always Have Nicknames Ready

The Ultimate Dealbreaker

And When the Going Gets Tough Just Remember...