5 Pumpkin Spice Cocktail Recipes That Are Way Better Than Any Starbucks Latte

'Tis the season for pumpkin spice everything... and I think it's time we added a few pumpkin spice drinks into that mix that have nothing to do with Starbucks. I mean, why not? Aside from your standard pumpkin spice lattes, the world has come up with pumpkin spice Pringles, pumpkin spice hand sanitizer, pumpkin spice Oreos — for god's sake, even pumpkin spice condoms were a plausible hoax! It's clear that America's collective autumnal boner for all things spiced pumpkin is fully erect, so I'm bringing you a twofold way to pleasure yourself: pumpkin spice cocktails. Now that is a bandwagon I can get behind. Here are 5 boozy recipes to try this fall.

Image: Rachel Carr

by Courtney Kocak

Pumpkin Old Fashioned

Pumpkin spice seems a natural modification to the Old Fashioned. Whiskey and bitters are both strong, earthy flavors which complement the taste of fall to excellent effect. Rachel Carr shows us how to elegantly execute this seasonal twist on the classic cocktail. Too bad it doesn’t come with a pumpkin spice Don Draper.

Image: Rachel Carr

Pumpkin Spice Fizz

If you’re interested in the lighter side of the pumpkin spiced cocktail, April Golightly’s Pumpkin Spice Fizz is just for you. It’s vodka and sparkling wine-based, and the recipe calls for Sweet’N Low — ostensibly to counteract the delicious pumpkin headed straight for your thighs.

Image: April Golightly

Vegan Pumpkin Spice Martini

Frank Sinatra is probably rolling in his grave over this update to his beloved drink. But it’s 2014, and we have to put up with crooners like Justin Bieber and Robin Thicke now — our drinks can be as silly as we want, dammit, we’ve earned it! And luckily, Veganosity gets it exactly right with their new (delicious) take on an old standard.

Image: Veganosity

Spiced Pumpkin Punch

You love ginger beer and bourbon? Then Domesticate ME!’s Spiced Pumpkin Punch is your jam. The pumpkin puree, cinnamon, and fresh ginger celebrate some of fall’s finest notes.

Image: Domesticate ME!

Frozen Pumpkin Mudslide

The end-all of spiced pumpkin cocktails has got to be Cupcake Project’s Frozen Pumpkin Mudslide, a.k.a “adult milkshake.” Since those pumpkin spice condoms wound up being a joke, this may be the closest thing we have to pumpkin spiced sex. And if that’s the case, then “I’ll have what she’s having,” if ya know what I mean?

Image: Cupcake Project