11 Times 'RHONY's Bethenny Frankel Was Our Ideal Misanthropic Inner Voice
Grab the tricolored afghan your grandma knitted you for your birth, pour yourself a Skinny Girl margarita, and sit your wonderful tush down on some sort of plush surface, because Bethenny Frankel is coming back Bravo, and it's going to be a long time before your hermitic heart sees the light of day again. Oh, that's right, everyone. The outspoken diva of The Real Housewives of New York is returning and I, for one, could not be any more excited. Partially because she provides endless, snarky entertainment, but mainly because all of her quips and quick-witted jabs speak to my soul. Or better yet, she speaks for my soul. It's hard to find someone so brazenly cynical and generally annoyed with the world's population as I can be at times.
Really, she speaks for all of our sometimes-reclusive souls. Some of us don't quite have the bravado to speak so candidly (fortunately, that's never been a problem for me), or we don't have the means to, or sometimes we just...can't. Because an angry mob may chase after us with pitchforks and torches and it would get all Beauty and the Beast real fast, and no, I'm not talking about that cute part where they play with each other in the snow. Anyway, back to Frankel. In preparation for her triumphant resurfacing, let's laud her for being our perfect, misanthropic inner voice for when humans sometimes perplex us.
BEING FORCED TO TALK TO ACQUAINTaNCES AT HORRIFIC EVENTS LIKE SCHOOL REUNIONS AND BABY SHOWERS
Whyyyyyyyyy. "Nope, still don't have a full-time job yet.... Yes, that is true, my younger sister does."
WHEN YOU SEE AN ANNOYINGLY EVEN KEELED PERSON GO OFF-KILTER
Not so fun to be on the receiving end of calm advice, IS IT?!
RESPECTING ANOTHER PERSON'S GENERAL DISDAIN, EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER
You find that unabashed honesty is admirable in almost anyone.
CLICKING "ENTER" AFTER AN OBVIOUS SUBTWEET
TRYING NOT TO MURDER THE PERSON NEXT YOU AS THEY SHAMELESSLY HUMBLE BRAG
Oh, my God, you are the best person to ever LIVE!
WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO TELL YOU THAT THEY DON'T MIND EXERCISE
SCROLLING THROUGH YOUR INSTAGRAM TO FIND REAL-LIFE ADULTS POSTING THE MOST BASIC OF BASIC QUOTES
I, too, enjoy inspiration from time to time, but God so help me if I see ONE MORE type-written quote.
WHEN SOMEONE EXPECTS YOU TO BOW BEFORE THE PRESENCE OF KALE
I'll destroy my body, and it'll be delicious as I do it, thank you.
PLOTTING SOMEONE'S DEMISE AFTER BEING TOLD TO "SMILE!"
That's why your smile is so big, it's full of secrets. (Thanks, Mean Girls.)
THE EXISTENCE OF MORNING PEOPLE
GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT SMILE AT 8 A.M.