The Math Equation for the Basic White Girl

Today in "oh my god, seriously?" someone down at Auburn University took the time from his no-doubt busy study schedule to solve the quandary that's been plaguing white heterosexual men for generations: the mathematical equation for the basic white girl. In a twist that nobody saw coming, this formula is comprised solely of unoriginal sexist jokes. Color me astonished.The formula, uploaded to twitter by the Orange & Navy Photo account, was found in the Ralph Brown Draughon Library on Auburn's campus, and as of the time this article was written, no one has stepped forward claim authorship. In addition to the requisite shout-outs to Starbucks (specifically the much-derided Pumpkin Spice Latte, of course), yoga pants, and Pinterest, what allowed this bro to solve the equation when no one else could was his willingness to include outdated and transparently misogynistic "jokes" like daddy issues, female superiority complexes, and Mrs. degrees. He even threw in a few references to selfies, Instagram, and oversized T-shirts just to cover all his bases. Because we all know that selfies are limited solely to women, of course, and it's not like T-shirts are a basic staple of most people's wardrobes.But Claire, I hear fraternity brothers across the country crying out, you have no sense of humor! They're just harmless white girl jokes! Chill out!

No, nameless bros. They're not just jokes. Sexist humor may seem harmless to the ones using it, but pretty much any woman can tell you how uncomfortable it is to listen to someone dismiss you and/or your interests simply because of your gender and be expected to laugh at it. (There are pages upon pages of results for "how to handle sexist jokes" if you search Google.) By concealing misogyny in humor and implying that we should think it's funny, we're encouraged to participate in our own discrimination, and research shows that this merely perpetuates sexism in the long run. So 19-year-old bros can make all the condescending jokes they want, but that's hardly going to stop me from enjoying my pumpkin spice latte. In fact, in his honor, next time I might order it while wearing yoga pants.