11 Fall TV Show Plots As Haiku

It's National Poetry Day, you guys. I don't know about you, but poetry was my least favorite part of English class. I could write you an essay defending my right to have any opinion or come up with a short story that would make my Creative Writing teacher cry, but ask me to write a poem and I automatically wanted to climb out the window to get away from this section. However, there have been so many great poets over the years — Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost, for example — that who am I to decry their legacies?

However, sometimes poetry can be fun. The easiest ones to write, at least for me, were always the haikus. The pattern was simple, just 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables, and suddenly you had a poem. It was magic. It changed my life. The Fall 2014-2015 TV season has brought with it a wealth of amazing new shows that I've spoken at length about, whether it's which Fall shows should do crossovers or which Fall shows are the most and least sexist, but in honor of National Poetry Day I've decided to take it a step further.

Still can't decide what to watch? Let me help you with a summary of some of the best new shows premiering... in haiku form.


Batman is Bruce Wayne

Cutest creepy child ever

Jim Gordon's there, too.

Jane the Virgin

The real mystery:

Jane gets impregnated, but

Where is the lawsuit?


Team of geniuses

Need a waitress to teach them

Human emotions.

The Flash

Barry Allen left

Arrow for this show, chased by

Olicity fans.


Eliza Dooley

Is so Internet famous

That she has no friends.

Manhattan Love Story

Girl meets boy story.

Takes place in Manhattan, but

Still pretty boring.

How to Get Away With Murder

Annalise Keating

Good Lord, Annalise Keating.

I want to be her.


So there's this doctor

With immortal knowledge, but

He's not a vampire?


All-black family

Lives in all-white neighborhood.

Comedy ensues.

A to Z

The Mother returns

To get her happy ending

On a brand new show.


Stalkers of all kinds

Defeated by Maggie Q

And some other guy.

Image: ABC; annalisekaeting, nellbeale, selfie-, midstorm, yugottabesonice, gitc4ever/Tumblr