Her Custom Bag Has Literally Every Pocket You Need

Like babies and dogs, every bag has a name these days. There's the Alexa (Alexa Chung) and the Cara (Cara Delevingne), the legendary Birkin and, of course, the one that started it all, the Kelly. When it comes to purses, it seems like the ones with a namesake are the most special of them all. That is no exception for the latest purse to join the bunch. According to Vogue, Miranda July and Welcome Companions created a custom handbag that she described as being "over-the-top mine."

And over the top hers, it is. This gorgeous lipstick-red carryall is exceptionally custom-made for the writer/filmmaker/artist. It's so ridiculously specific and detailed, it almost seems like an article straight out of a Wes Anderson movie. Besides the fact that it is named after her (obviously), the Miranda has unique details throughout it. It includes several pockets and compartments inside for quirky "essentials," like "Ultra Top Secret Projects," "Mini Nightie A.K.A. Security Blanket," "Almond in case of low blood sugar," and an emergency fund "In Case Fuck Up And Lose Money."

There's also a pocket for multi-purpose cards to use in the event that you need them. For example, if you're in a fight with your friend and they're not speaking to you, you can simply pull out the card that reads, "On a scale of one to ten how angry are you at me right now, with one being it's not even worth mentioning and 10 being our relationship is over: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10." Oh, and this one, for those more-than-awkward moments: "Please use a lot of lubricant." Like July said, it's super over-the-top, albeit wonderful and charming and another reason to love the indie superstar.

July's dream purse was brought to life by friend and creative accessories designer Laurel Consuelo Broughton, owner of Welcome Companions. There were only 100 produced, so head over to Opening Ceremony to be the proud owner of your very own Miranda bag. To see Miranda July act out how you should properly use her purse (or for five minutes of LOLz), please watch her tutorial below. You will not regret it.

Image: Courtesy Opening Ceremony