Entertainment
They Revealed Their Baby's Name
Those cheeky Kunis-Kutchers. They've given the world what they've been begging for — and yet not really. In case you haven't heard, after numerous headlines claiming that she's about to pop like a walking bottle of champagne or something, Mila Kunis gave birth to a baby girl. Thus was the world allowed to turn their attention to the next most important thing: What are they going to name the baby? And, also, what does the baby look like? Well, both of those mysteries have been solved even though some might fight the answer unsatisfying. Kunis and Kutcher named their baby girl Wyatt Isabella and posted a picture of the child to Kutcher's website, if you can figure out which picture belongs to them.
It all began with a Facebook message. Simple, innocent, vaguely hilarious. "Here's your baby photo," wrote Kutcher. "Well, one of them is. Now can the helicopter please stop hovering over our house, there is a baby sleeping inside! And she's super cute." Oh my goodness, you may have squealed. Finally I get to behold the majestic beauty of That 70's Baby! This is the most momentous day in history since the birth of Prince George! You might have been so excited by this news that you didn't think to puzzle over what Kutcher meant by "Well, one of them is." You might have clicked the link to his website immediately and found another beautiful message waiting within:
Mila and I would like to welcome Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher to the world. May your life be filled with wonder, love, laughter, health, happiness, curiosity, and privacy.
Awww, you may have cooed next. What a beautiful name. And what a lovely wish. Same to you, Ashton Kutcher! And to you, Mila Kunis! But then you read on and saw the last line: "Can you guess which one is ours, or does it really matter? All babies are cute." And it was in that moment that you realized Kutcher and Kunis are actually evil. Because instead of posting ten pictures of Wyatt like regular proud parents, they buried her photo among pictures of other babies. And a llama. And a puppy. Because all babies are cute and you should never trust those two ever.
The worst part of it all is that all the babies look more or less the same so it's near impossible to tell which one could possibly belong to Kutcher and Kunis without face-evaluation software or something. At least you can probably rule out the llama, although it does have Kutcher's eyes.
It's uncanny really. On the bright side, at least we finally have a name and we do actually have a picture. Sure, it's one of six viable options for what Kutcher and Kunis' baby looks like, but it's there on that page somewhere. And I have full confidence in the Internet to be able to find some kind of tricky way to narrow things down.
