8 Ways Social Media is Hurting Your Love Life
Relationships are all fun and games, until social media comes into play. Apps like Facebook and Instagram can be entertaining and allow us to zone out and distract ourselves with other people’s lives, but at what price?
We’ve all heard of that couple who had an argument over that new “friend” on Facebook. Or maybe you’ve had multiple tiffs with your boyfriend over his never-ending liking of girls’ selfies. Relationships mixed with social media can be tricky, so it’s important to be aware of these eight ways it could become destructive.
Losing the Connection
You and your partner just made a wonderful dinner together, you’ve poured the glasses of wine and are about to sit down for a lovely date. As you start engaging in conversation, his phone lights up and he grabs his phone like it's second nature.
Once he’s on his phone, you decide to check yours in the meantime. Now you’ve got yourself a couple that isn’t truly connecting. Somehow, when couples become more comfortable with each other, the cell phones start to come out of hiding. Unfortunately, you lose the real connection between just the two of you when you connect through social media.
Public Displays of Affection (Online)
It’s quite common for one person in a relationship to feel annoyed over the lack of social media posts by his or her partner. You start seeing others posting sweet pictures on Instagram and the jealousy within you rises. When you notice Frank, the guy who never posts anything, wrote a status (yes, a status!) about his beautiful girlfriend, you’re quick to build resentment about your non-PDA boyfriend. You hear questions like “Why don’t you post pictures of me anymore?” come out of your mouth, and you can’t believe you’re that person.
Social Media Detective
Dating and relationships were a lot simpler without social media. Now you have to worry about your new boyfriend seeing pictures of your ex-boyfriend that maybe you'd rather keep to yourself. Or, you have to see all of those photos of your partner with his ex on that tropical vacation. Ugh, it’s exhausting.
Put away that Sherlock Holmes cap and leave the past in the past.
Some things are meant to be private. Seeing your current partner’s past, through social media, isn’t helpful. In fact, it can be hurtful. You might come across the time he posted a picture of his ex, where the caption reads “She’s the love of my life.” That isn’t going to be kind to your heart, girl. So put away that Sherlock Holmes cap and leave the past in the past.
Thou Dost Post Too Much
Do you ever notice those couples who over-post on social media about how happy they are in their relationship? Yet, every time you see them, they can’t stop fighting. It appears some couples overcompensate for their unhappiness by overplaying their love through a screen. Don’t let this be you. Instead of faking love through a computer, spend that time and energy actually showing your partner you care about them in the real world.
Seeing Before Hearing
Have you ever gotten into an argument with your lover because he or she didn’t answer your text, but you saw him or her liking like crazy on Instagram? Or how about the time your boyfriend went to that bar down the street with his friends, but, um, he didn’t tell you that was his plan? These are very common disagreements that can happen due to social media. You see where your partner is before he or she tells you. This can feel odd and a bit unsettling.
Public vs. Private
Not every couple is on the same wavelength when it comes to how much they want the world to know about their relationship. One partner might want to scream his or her love on a rooftop, or better yet, on a Facebook status, while the other partner wants this to remain private.
This conflict can arise in many couples and it’s a conversation to be had. How public or private do you want your relationship to be?
The Fine Line
Snapchat, Instagram, and Facebook all give you the chance to walk a fine line between friendly, flirty, and downright shady. An innocent “hello” from an old friend can easily turn into that friend asking you to “catch up,” then to inviting you to other things … it’s important to know how to walk this line and to maintain appropriate boundaries.
When the snooping takes over, it’s showing a bigger issue at hand — insecurity.
We’ve all been there — looking up our boyfriend’s newly added friends on Facebook, or checking who liked our girlfriend’s profile picture. But remember that old saying, “seek and ye shall find.” You can find anything on social media that will make you upset, even if it’s truly not a big deal. When the snooping takes over, it’s showing a bigger issue at hand — insecurity.