They came in like a wrecking ball … the relationship wreckers, that is.
We get into a relationship, and then the comfortable phase starts to settle in. So do our relationship patterns. Some of these patterns — of how we communicate and behave — can have an enormous affect on our new relationship. At first, they might not appear to be that damaging, but over time, it can turn a healthy partnership into an unhealthy “I can’t stand you” one.
Being passive aggressive is a huge wrecker in a relationship. By being passive aggressive, you are not truly communicating how you feel to your partner.
Instead, your boyfriend or girlfriend is receiving mixed signals, because your words and behaviors are not matching. Sometimes it can feel powerful to be passive aggressive, but you and your partner will lose that powerful love if you act this way.
Words Can Hurt
That old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never hurt me,” couldn’t be more wrong. Words can hurt a relationship, and actually, destroy it. Be careful what comes out of your mouth, because you cannot take those comments back. Furthermore, once you open up the gate, it’s hard to close it. You need to respect each other, and it’s hard to do that after your partner calls you all the horrible names in the book.
Usually people tend to think trusting your partner means trusting that he or she will not cheat. However, trusting your partner in other ways is just as significant. You need to be able to trust your partner with his or her promises as well. Once you feel that you cannot count on a partner, you may start to count them out.
Threats in a relationship are big no-no. In order to have a stable and secure partnership, you want to be able to trust your partner with your heart. You cannot do this if he or she is threatening to leave you every time you get into an argument. The only time you should be making such threats is when you are a 100 percent ready to walk away.
Remaining independent is key. I mean, even Destiny’s Child had a song about it. It’s very common for people to lose their identities while being a relationship as they mold together into one. You start losing your own identity and rely too heavily on your partner.
A partner should not complete you, but rather, he or she should compliment you. Make sure to always remain independent and confident in yourself. This helps maintain a good sense of self.
The Silent Treatment
Silence speaks louder than words. And it also says — unhealthy communication. Some people don’t know how to handle confrontation, so they just ignore it and sweep it under the rug. This silence leads to unresolved conflicts and resentment.
Furthermore, giving the silent treatment may make you feel a sense of power at the time, but it is juvenile and detrimental to your relationship. Speak up and communicate in a healthy way. Too much sweeping it under the rug will lead to a dirty floor that is too hard to clean up.
Get Your Priorities Straight
After the honeymoon phase is over, we tend to become complacent. We stop sending those sweet text messages. We don’t leave those love notes on his or her car anymore. Life takes over and we lose sight of what is really most important. Every amazing relationship takes effort. You can’t just be reactive in a relationship and simply watch it go by. You need to be proactive. Show your partner you care and never lose sight of that.
Spilling the Secrets
It’s important to remember that what you have with your partner is sacred and private. Sometimes, this is hard to remember after a couple of glasses of wine with your girlfriends. That’s when all of those stories come out and they might not be so pretty. It’s one thing to vent about an argument with your gal pal, but it’s another to continually speak poorly of your lover.
Not Being Supportive
Think of the famous power couples in the world. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Beyoncé and Jay Z, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith. What do they all have in common? They are entirely supportive of the other person’s goals and dreams. You need to support your partner’s aspirations and always remain their number one fan. Otherwise it could become the number one reason you two split up.
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