This just in, everyone. Bruce Jenner's hair has reached an unprecedented length in the history of Bruce Jenner. I repeat: Bruce Jenner's hair is extremely long. Even longer than his hair has been in the past, which was still, pretty long. I'm guessing that he's the modern day Samson and his strength all lies in his hair.
As Celebuzz reports, the KUWTK patriarch was seen this weekend attending an Elton John concert at the Staples Center in Los Angeles sporting a shoulder-length '80s blowout. In the wake of his divorce from Kris Jenner, am I wrong to assume that this hairstyle reflects Bruce trying to find himself, post-Kris? All I know is that this hair inspires him to be an outlaw. After allegedly hopping over a barricade to infiltrate the stadium, Jenner reportedly met up with son Brandon and daughter-in-law Leah at the concert. Hangin' with youths. Jumping fences. Basically, his new hairstyle has transformed him into a vigilante who eschews order and laughs in the face of danger.
Feathered and wafting in the breeze, his mane rivaled that of an elven lord of Rivendell. In addition to that, he also looks like early '90s Cindy Crawford. Prepare yourself for the flowing chestnut locks, for this is an image that you won't be able to unsee...
In addition to those things and "rebellion," Bruce Jenner’s flowing chestnut locks conjure up images of the following.
A White Walker
He's what lies beyond the wall.
That is, the original one.
Elrond, Lord of Rivendell from Lord of The Rings
Great Halloween costume idea, amirite??
'90s Cindy Crawford
Just give him a little wind.
The Metalhead Boyfriend Your Parents Disapprove of
His name is Snake and he drives a motorcycle.
A horse with a luxurious mane
Saw this one coming, didn't ya?
A Tresemme Ad
Ooh la la.
I'm just gonna assume that Kendall and Kylie will be braiding his hair regularly.
Image: Giphy (2)