Tyra Banks' Instagram feed is flipping bonkers, just like the supermodel-turned-tv-host herself. Let me preface this by saying that I love Tyra. Tyra is the correct type of crazy. She's so wildly Tyra that there's no way to not feel endeared to her, even when she's giving batshit advice on America's Next Top Model about "smizing" and "tooching" and "booching" and all the other made up modeling terms she's so successfully patented.
The model turned reality host/power business woman/makeup mogul is one of my favorite celebrities to follow on Instagram, if for no other reason than how maniacal her selfies are. Tyra wears her self-awareness in a completely un-ironic way, and plays up to the wacky diva personality that she's been selling for 21 cycles of ANTM. She's like Beyoncé, but with a sense of humor. Tyra knows she's demanding, Tyra knows she's insane, Tyra knows she's got whatever she's doing on lock, so Tyra is the best Tyra we could ever have hoped for. We probably don't even deserve a Tyra this good.
In celebration (and possibly fear) of the fiercest 90s supermodel of them all, here's a collection of completely bizarre, nutty selfies from Tyra's Instagram, because I love her like the perfectionist Tyger (geddit?!) mother I never had.
Contouring a model with her new makeup line
Does anyone else feel like she could be slapping this model in the face with a dildo and nothing about the shot would change aside from the contouring stick being a sex toy? Is contouring really this intense?
Her "Quack Smooches"
Get used to these murderous eyes. It's Tyra's serial killer smize, and it's a regular feature on her Instagram feed.
In her own words, "Buggin'"
Imagine waking up in the middle of the night with this in your face. Won't be sleeping any time soon, will you?
WHERE'S YOUR NECK, TYRA?
For someone who spends a lot of time antagonizing models about "losing" their necks in photos, Tyra is looking pretty neckless.
"Chillin' like a puppet"
The time she did this Cousin It themed shoot
She apparently dropped an earring, not sure why that needed documenting.
As Mona Tyra
It's the tiny baby arms that make this truly, very strange.
Posing creepily with creepy dolls
And telling us in the caption that we can't hang unless we "#DMIZE" which is the doll version of "#SMIZE", apparently.
Somehow making it look like she and Cookie Monster just had sex
The only thing missing is a cigarette. Such is the power of the Tyra Banks stare down.
"Makin' that dough"
Just Tyra loafing about with some bread!
Looking like a screen grab from a ransom video
Seriously, this could be from a video of her telling Liam Neeson that she's got his daughter and it would be perfectly diabolical.
And this video, which I think speaks for itself
Images: Tyra Banks/Instagram