How To Run Amok, Amok, Amok This Year

Everyone has their own unique set of Halloween traditions. For some, that involves spending your entire paycheck on the greatest pop culture-relevant costume (which you, of course, will only ever wear this once). Meanwhile, others prefer to simply stuff their faces full of candy — something that I like to refer to as just a typical Friday night. (No judgments, please.) There is, however, one Halloween tradition I believe everyone has in common, and that's watching Hocus Pocus as many times as humanly possible. You know it’s true. I remember going to see this movie back when it came first out and thinking that it was the greatest thing I’d ever seen. I mean, what 6-year-old girl wouldn’t love a film about dead witches rising from the grave to suck up children’s souls in order to stay young forever? (OK, so maybe I was a strange child. Again, no judgments.)

But seriously though, it’s a cult classic that’s impossible not to enjoy, especially around this time of year. The only question that remains is how exactly to go about watching it. Obviously, those who already own the movie outright have nothing to worry about and deserve some major kudos for their smart purchasing decisions. However, I’m sure there are people out there who are banking on other ways to get their Sanderson sister fill of the season.

Now, you would think a beloved Halloween favorite such as this one would be impeccably easy to track down and see on TV. But I am sad to say that does not seem to be the case this year. In fact, I was downright shocked to find out how very limited our options are. For starters, Netflix and Hulu Plus do not yet have it available for streaming.

I know. I couldn’t believe it either and am unsure I want to live in a world where such an injustice can occur. (How is Curious George: A Halloween Boo Fest on Netflix and not Hocus Pocus? IT MAKES NO SENSE!) But before we let our feelings run amok, amok, amok — let’s just take a moment to calm ourselves.

Because there is one steadfast TV ritual we can always depend on — and that’s ABCFamily’s 13 Nights of Halloween. Yes, 13 magical nights of glorious Halloween classics that never cease to be amazing even after all these years. So, of course, Hocus Pocus is amid the chosen few. That’s the good news. The bad news is that it’s only airing a total of two times throughout this entire programing lineup. Two times. That’s it. The first showing will start at 10 p.m. (ET) on Saturday, Oct. 25, while the second (and final) viewing will be at 8 p.m. (ET) on Sunday, Oct. 26. And that’s all we get. Which feels incredibly unfair considering I need at least three showings in order to perfect my “I Put a Spell on You” dance routine.

The one saving grace about this is the fact that both airings are taking place over the weekend, so late-night weekday workers won't have to worry about rushing home in time to see it. But still. I can’t help but feel slightly gypped. And to make matters even more depressing, TV Guide claims that no other network has any plans to air Hocus Pocus within the next 14 days.

Winifred, Sarah, and Mary might as well just suck up my soul right now because I officially feel empty inside. I mean, that is just completely unacceptable. (It is still the month of October, right? Because I'm starting to have serious doubts.) Luckily, there’s always the option of buying the movie — which, as I insinuated before, is what everyone should've just done in the first place. Amazon, iTunes, Vudu, and On Demand are all readily available to assist you with all of your purchasing needs, which will allow you to get in touch with your witchy side over and over again until your heart’s content.

And then there’s always the comfort of knowing that this little beauty is available for your viewing pleasure all year round. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch this a billion times. I urge you to join me.

Now where is that Hocus Pocus sequel?

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