Just when you thought this whole Ebola thing couldn’t get any worse (LOL JK, we all know it could theoretically get a lot worse), Texan romance novel model/novelist/stripper, Axl Goode, announced that he’s voluntarily quarantining himself because the CDC didn’t think of asking him to. Goode, who was three feet away from infected nurse Amber Venison on Frontier Airlines flight 1142 to Dallas, is “shocked” that the CDC hadn’t thought of isolating him from others. As are we, bae. As are we.
The gorgeous and wise Goode stated, “If a stripper can make a decision that’s more responsible than the CDC, then surely other people can make those decisions, too. It’s not rocket science.” While I don’t necessarily agree with devaluing strippers as people who don’t think logically (being a stripper has nothing to do with your IQ; you can totally be a rocket scientist AND a stripper. DO NOT INTERNALIZE THE REDUCTIVE SELF-IMAGE CAST UPON YOU BY A SEX-SHAMING SOCIETY, AXL.), Goode is still on the right track. Why didn’t a nurse who studied the human body for at least two years think, “Hmm…I have a slight fever, and I did recently touch an Ebola patient’s bodily fluids. I should probably not take this flying germ capsule to Ohio and infect countless others.” Why didn’t the CDC prevent all of this? Why did Axl Goode, a guy who sat THREE feet away from an Ebola victim, have to make the decision to quarantine himself?
While I should probably settle down, I think all of us have very legitimate concerns here. If you’re not up to speed with the latest Ebola fail, here’s a quick, terrifying recap: Amber Venison, a nurse who took care of Eric Duncan, the first diagnosed case of Ebola in the U.S., took a flight to Cleveland, Ohio to plan a wedding even though she had a temperature of 99.6 degrees. Venison wasn't not completely reckless —she called the CDC and asked if going on an airplane was a good idea, and they were like, “sure, you’re not at 100.4, have fun!” Venison of course started feeling increasingly sick in Ohio and on her flight back to Dallas. We’re all assuming there is a good chance she was contagious in Ohio and on that Frontier flight to Texas. So everyone on that flight (plus several others, since planes are in service all day long) has been asked by CDC to get in contact with health officials to be interviewed. Apparently however, they’re not asking passengers who sat right next to Venison to isolate themselves. In fact, they’re not asking much at all.
Axl Goode, who followed directions, ended up waiting 81 minutes to talk to a health official. When he finally did get in contact with someone, they merely asked for his address and phone number and hung up. No “Mr. Goode, we please ask that you quarantine yourself for 21 days,” or, “Maybe at least take your temp twice a day.” Nothing. Once Goode started updating his Facebook fans about his whereabouts and health, he was called back and asked to stay at home for a while. His devoted fans will be sending him food and supplies while he takes 21 days off from work and holes up in his apartment. Someone also set up a GoFundMe for Goode and his friend Taylor Cole, who was with him on that Frontier flight, so that these two can get by for three weeks.
The Texas hospital that failed to save Duncan and the CDC have been facing massive criticism this week. Clearly, it's a tense situation all around. But, shamelessly self-promoting ploy for not, I think we can all agree that Axl's abs are the silver lining in this otherwise bleak story.
