Man, breakups are the worst. But after the heartache fades, along with all of those memories of your ex, you will be able to see the good in goodbye. Is it an easy place to get to? No.
It takes a lot of work, along with appropriate grieving of the relationship. When people tell you, “One day you’ll realize it was the best thing to ever happen to you,” you won’t believe it. But slowly and surely, you’ll start to see how this is true. Whether or not the relationship was a happy or unhappy one — it ended for a reason. It was broken. After you put all the pieces of your heart back together, you’ll start to see why the relationship needed to end, and what you have to gain from that season of your life being over.
No More Fear
Sometimes, in a relationship that is toxic or unhealthy, you don’t leave because of fear. You’re fearful of the unknown, afraid of feeling pain, and scared of making the wrong decision. This fear can halt you in more ways than you realize. After a breakup, you faced that fear head on. It is scary as shit, but once you make it to the other side, you become fearless. You’ll start to get this notion that you have been through the toughest of times, and now you can you handle anything life gives you.
Focus On Me
In a relationship, it wasn’t all about you. Instead of me, myself and I, it was probably more like, your partner, your partner, your partner. Now that this partnership is over, you have all the time in the world to focus on the most important relationship in your life — the one you have with yourself.
More Good Days
There’s a nice realization after you change from a twosome to a one-some — you are the only person who can ruin your day. Before, maybe something would bother you about your partner, or his or her actions, and it would leave an icky taste in your mouth and your day. Now, you don’t have to deal with that nonsense. You can chose to make your day negative or positive, and hopefully you’re choosing the more positive route.
It’s a wonderful thought to know that you have loved to the fullest. Some people are too afraid to put themselves out there and truly be vulnerable. That is not you. You loved to the max and you wore your heart out on your sleeve. That is commendable. What’s even more comforting is that you can do that again. You know you are capable of love, which means you are capable of giving and receiving love in the future.
A Bright Future
Through rough times and change, one thing is inevitable — growth. This growth comes in many ways, especially in knowledge. You know now what you want for yourself and your future. You learned a lot about yourself through this relationship and through the downfall of it. When you’re ready to get back on the horse, you will have a better idea of what you are looking for. You now have a more refined list of deal-breakers and a better understanding of what you need vs. what you want. Your future looks bright, my dear.
Friends and Family
Unfortunately, when we get into relationship, we also get into the rut of not seeing our friends and family as much as we used to. The beautiful thing about being single again is that you can take this time to readjust and reevaluate your friendships.
Since you probably have been through hell and back with your broken heart, you discovered which friends and family were there for you. It might also make you realize some hard truths about your other friends. The good news is that you can cherish your true friendships and spend more time making them flourish.
The Final Epiphany
You are about to have your Oprah Winfrey “Aha!" moment. This is the moment you realize the biggest truths from your relationship. Maybe it’s where you finally believe you deserve better than what you were given. Or maybe you realize there’s more to being in a relationship than just love. Whatever this moment is for you, it will feel amazing. These life lessons you gain are worth all the heartbreak.