It's as if all of our Halloween wishes were answered from on high. Legendary children and teen horror author RL Stine is tweeting a Halloween story, brand new, Tuesday night. He made this announcement, all calm, cool, and collected, Tuesday morning on Twitter, saying "Hope you'll join me."
Of course we'll join you, Stine. Every teen, twentysomething, and thirtysomething will be joining you, with the lights off, lit by the back light of our mobile devices.
Stine hasn't released any further details, much to the dismay of his 133,000 followers, but it's pretty clear from his Twitter bio what he intends to do in the new story: "My job: to terrify kids." And make no mistake, it's to delight grown-up Fear Street and Goosebumps fans, too.
This isn't the first big move for Stine this year. In September, he released the new Fear Street novel Party Games to much fanfare (myself included). He's the writer who has made basements, dolls, summer camp, amusement parks, and any party for any holiday ever completely terrifying, so there's no guessing what he will be tackling in his new Twitter Halloween story (will social media be the villain like a Black Mirror episode?) but we do have some favorite (read: scariest) characters that we wouldn't mind revisiting.
Slappy the Dummy (Night of the Living Dummy)
Slappy the Dummy is arguably the arch villain of the entire Goosebumps universe — and for good reason. He basically has prepared an entire generation of children to be terrified of other dolls-turned-horror-villains in the vain of Chucky, Jigsaw, that terrifying clown from Poltergeist, and Annabelle, whose movie trailer I still can't watch.
Stine knew the power Slappy had over impressionable children and so he included him in several sequels. But seriously, he's so scary that I would have to block off the words "Karru marri odonna loma molonu karrano" on the page, just in case reading them in my head would also summon Slappy.
Aunt Margaret (Bad Moonlight)
Stine tried to pull one over on us in Bad Moonlight, but I guess that's what makes this one a Super Chiller. The whole way through the book, we thought the main character Danielle Verona was the werewolf who was tearing apart (literally) the neighborhood, but in a major twist, it was her Aunt Margaret. It takes a warped kind of villain to go after her own family.
Even scarier? Aunt Margaret's whole plan involved prepping Danielle for a pack leader arranged marriage. Shudder.
The Haunted Mask (The Haunted Mask)
OK, so the mask isn't a character per se, but it has rightfully earned its spot as an irreplaceable member of the Goosebumps canon. It's because of this mask — and, yes, general fears of claustrophobia and an inability to breathe — that has to this day made me more of a Halloween makeup girl than a mask wearer.
The Haunted Mask still has one of the spookiest Stine endings I've ever read, when Carly Beth finally removes the mask and her brother comes walking in wearing it. Oh. My. God.
Ugh, Felicia has all of the Craft-style powers I always wanted when I was a witch-obsessed pre-teen. I'm basically the jealous Debbie best friend in Runaway.
But Felica can't control herself, so he has to run away and start a new life. Along the way she literally gets picked up hitchhiking by a guy named Killer and enrolls in a high school because that's the best way to stay off the grid. So, no, she's doesn't have the best street smarts, but her powers are so strong she is able to zap her best pal Debbie into a trance, and I just want her to join up with more powerful women and rule a different high school.
The Lawn Gnomes (Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes)
These lawn gnomes aren't the fox-riding, nose-rubbing gnomes you encountered elsewhere in your childhood.
These lawn gnomes are troublemakers, and something about them triggers my fears started by Jennifer Aniston's proudest movie, The Leprechaun. But perhaps even scarier is a middle aged man so obsessed with lawn ornaments.
Honey Perkins (The Best Friend)
Honey Perkins is basically the Single White Female of Shadyside. She moves in on Becka Norwood's life (who, despite the cover, is not a 45-year-old woman), copying everything she does. In one scene, Becka walks in on Honey in her bedroom trying on her clothes, and in another she's hiding behind a tree watching Becka and her boyfriend make out. Needless to say, she has some issues.
And (spoiler alert) it ends all just fine for Honey. She frames Becka for a murder, and the last thing Becka can hear is Honey telling her she told the police what Becka did, as Becka slips in and out of conciousness. This girl has no boundaries, and despite being passed off as an airhead, she's got the smarts to execute (literally). Plus, her name is probably the best character name ever.
Lizzy Morris (One Day At Horrorland)
Lizzy is the only protagonist on this list of villains because deserves a mention. In this haunted amusement park, Lizzy was literally trapped in a casket on a river and it barely rattled her. The girl is nails. Then, with her parents and two boys essentially cowering behind her, Lizzy whips a mask off of a monster to see what she's really dealing with. And then, it's her smarts that saves them all. In a horror movie world where people love to escape monsters by hiding in the basement, Lizzy was a young woman protagonist I could actually root for.
Justine Cameron (Halloween Party)
Justine Cameron has a flair for the dramatic, and I like that about her. Her mysterious all-night Halloween party on Fear Street was clearly inspired by Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None and the movie Clue, and that's the kind of party I'd like to be invited to. OK, so yes, Justine was really just pretending to be a high school student, and she was really out to murder the family of the people who killed her parents, and yes, the whole party was just a rouse, but I mean... that kind of just makes her more interesting, doesn't it? No?
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