Entertainment

A New Rihanna Single Later This Month? Hold Me.

by Alex Kritselis

Rihanna has returned to Instagram, but fans are still waiting for her to return to music. The 26-year-old pop superstar hasn't put out a new album since 2012 (which feels like an eternity when you've gotten used to her releasing a new one each year) and the world is getting restless. Thankfully, I have some good news: According to Elle magazine's upcoming December issue, "sources close" to Rihanna say that "we should 'not be surprised'" if she releases a new single later this month. In other words, November could turn into Rihvember in the blink of an eye. In other words, November could be the best month ever. In other words, I'm so excited right now, there's a good chance I could pee my pants.

The Rihanna draught might finally be coming to an end, people! I want to sing, I want to dance! I want to drive around my neighborhood with the windows down, blasting "Rude Boy" for several hours or until people start to complain (whichever comes first!). I've felt more emotions in the past 5 minutes than I have during the past 5 years. My head is spinning, but I've never been more alive.

These, my friends, are the 13 stages of learning that Rihanna could be releasing a new single later this month:

The Wait a Minute Stage

The Could It Possibly Be True Stage

The I Don't Want to Get My Hopes Up Stage

The F**k It, It's Go Time Stage

The I'm So Happy I'm Gonna Bust Out The Choreo From "What's My Name" Stage

The Back Injury Stage

The Back Injury Stage (Continued)

The Celebration Resumes Stage

The Put On "Pon De Replay" And Think About How Far Rihanna's Come Stage

The Put On "Unfaithful" and Then Immediately Turn It Off Stage

The Jump Up & Down to "We Found Love" Stage

The Inevitable "Umbrella" Sing-Along Stage

The I'm Spent Stage

November could become Rihvember at literally any moment now. Are you ready?

Images: Giphy (15)