Life

The Most Absurd Starbucks News You'll Ever Hear

Have you ever been stressed out that your Starbucks is flavored with upscale sodomite semen fraught with Ebola? Well, if you ever go to New York you'll be in good company because Harlem pastor James David Manning claims Ebola started at Starbucks and your drink is actually made of the semen of sodomites (because obviously the international, multi-billion dollar corporation couldn't come up with a more cost effective way to flavor their chai lattes). Pastor Manning's rationale was even more ridiculous than his conclusion. He said, "Generally upscale sodomites who frequent Starbucks, who sit there with their computers and it’s a meeting place, they exchange a lot of body fluids, hands shaken and contact...stay away from Starbucks if you don’t want to get Ebola. And especially the Starbucks in the urban areas."

This isn't the first far-fetched thing the pastor has said. In his show, The Manning Report, in which the pastor discusses things that cause him distress including President Obama, the gays, and black people, he predicted in August that Putin would out Obama as a gay man and reveal his secret relationship with basketball player Reggie Love. He also called him a "Mac Daddy" and "Pimp" in 2008 on Fox News. He is also notorious for denouncing black men in leadership positions, but also black people in general. So basically, the moral of the story is not to take anything this guy says particularly seriously, but I have to admit, it is pretty amusing.

So, ya know, drink Starbucks at your own risk! Just. Kidding.