How to Poop at Work: A No-Fail Guide

Let’s be honest: Yes, everybody poops — but some places are more difficult to get your business done than others. Pooping at work, for example, is probably one of the most trying issues most people deal with on a regular basis. But good news! Fast Company has kindly created your essential, no-fail guide to successfully going number two in the workplace — and even better, it’s presented in video form. Titled “7-Stage Guide to Successfully Pooping at Work,” it consists of the seven most important tips you’ll ever hear. Seriously. Watch it. Learn it. Love it.

I’m assuming you’re not squeamish if you clicked on an article titled “How to Poop at Work,” but just to cover all our bases, you should probably be aware that there’s frank discussion of bodily functions not often discussed in polite society ahead. So, y’know… consider yourself warned. But don’t feel like you have to limit your utilization of these tips to the workplace; they’re just as useful in any other location you might find yourself needing to answer the call of nature, from hip public restrooms with confusing signs to your friend’s apartment. Some of them might even come in handy when you’ve got the home court advantage. It never hurts to be prepared, right?

Here are a few highlights; scroll down to watch the whole video:

Schedule for Maximum Privacy

I mean, sometimes you don’t really have a say in the matter — but if you do, avoid the high-traffic times.

BYO Air Freshener

It sounds weird, but everyone will thank you for it. (Although probably silently. Nothing is more awkward than going up to someone and saying, “Hey, thanks for bringing the air freshener — we’re all really happy about the fact that we don’t have to smell someone else’s farts in there.”)

Learn the Fine Art of DIY Soundproofing

It will help immensely with the next tip:

Relaaaaaaaaaax

The only thing worse than shy bladder is shy sphincter.

Deal With It

It’s just like the book said, so you may as well square with it. We’re all adults here, right?

Watch the whole video below:

Images: Fotolia; Fast Company (5)