I can vividly remember the two most terrifying moments of my life: One of them was almost getting hit by a commuter bus, and the other one was three days ago when I battled half the internet for tickets to Taylor Swift's 1989 tour. Because I'm able to write this, you can see that I survived both of those incidents unscathed, but the second one only just barely—getting the tickets to the DC show took the combined power of both me and my poor mother, two computers, and six or seven attempts to get into a digital "waiting room" that prevents scalpers from crushing everyone alive. Forty-five minutes later, we were finally good to go.
I tell you this because all week I've been listening to her new tracks over and over, both to recuperate and to remember why I threw myself to the wolves of Ticketmaster in the first place. I've had plenty of time to reflect on all the songs (because let's be real, I had them memorized before noon the day the album was released), and now I'm not only fairly confident I know who each song is about, I am confident that I can decide who you likely are as a person depending on your favorite song. And being the informal authority of all things Swift that I am, I will share it with you, in order of track listing:
1. "Welcome To New York"
You've either just moved to New York, are on vacation in New York, or are a considerably drunk New Yorker. You are spontaneous and love having adventures, and are usually surrounded by large groups of friends.
2. "Blank Space"
You are sarcastic as they come. People genuinely have no idea when you are being serious, but that's half the fun of being who you are. The people who matter most are the ones who don't get scared off.
You are classic and sophisticated, and totally into the vintage look. While you're a totally modern person you can still appreciate a good throwback, and are always the one initiating old movie screenings and retro-themed parties. Also you rock some red lips and are possibly in a Target commercial.
4. "Out Of The Woods"
You aren't always easy to read. Other people wear their hearts on their sleeves, but you wear yours somewhere at the bottom of your shoe where other people can't see it. People mistake your quietness for being shy, but figure out you have strong opinions once they get to know you.
5. "All You Had To Do Was Stay"
You're the mom of your group. The one who was always in charge of divvying up school projects, the one everybody came running to after a break-up, the one who tries not to say "I told you so" even when you really, really want to.
6. "Shake It Off"
You're a breathing human. Congratulations.
7. "I Wish You Would"
You're the kind of person who can be honest with themselves about their past mistakes and make an effort to change for the better. You are also very passionate and need to be with the kind of people who are up to the challenge of matching your pace.
8. "Bad Blood"
You are fiercely loyal and expect that kind of loyalty in return. If anyone wrongs somebody you love, you can bring them down the vengeance of a hundred thousand burning suns. You're a lot tougher than you look.
9. "Wildest Dreams"
You are both reflective and hopeful, able to look back on your past mistakes while remaining optimistic about the future. You know most of the good things in life are fleeting, but that doesn't stop you from enjoying them while you can.
10. "How You Get The Girl"
You are a hopeless romantic. You love easily and forgive easily, even though you know there is a chance you might get hurt. You've been called a daydreamer by people around you more than a few times.
11. "This Love"
You take love very seriously, more seriously than the people around you always understand. You have always thought of yourself as an old soul, and although you don't take a lot of risks, the one that you do take you throw your whole self into.
12. "I Know Places"
You have a bit of a wild streak, but it's all in good fun. You thrive on never having a plan and follow your heart wherever it leads. You're not afraid of falling in love or of getting a little crazy.
You are, by far, the most zen member of your group of friends. You've been through a lot in your life, but you are always able to take it in stride and come out stronger than before. You pride yourself on being strong and independent.