How To Successfully Avoid Thanksgiving Altogether
Holiday celebrations can be seriously overrated. There's always an unfair amount of pressure to cook the perfect meal, wear the perfect outfit, get the perfect amount of drunk, celebrate with the perfect friends, and host or attend the perfect party. With Thanksgiving expectations this high, you are bound to be disappointed if even one single hair falls out of place. Does that sound like fun? Ugh, not even a little bit.
Sometimes you just want to say "screw it" and boycott said holiday altogether. And that's OK. Maybe you're going through a rough patch, and seeing the whole family sounds a little too stressful. As long as you give them plenty of notice and make plans to see them another (less intense) time, then it's fine if you bail on this get-together.
Thanksgiving is a particularly odd holiday to celebrate anyway. It's like we cherry-picked one part of our nation's history, used it as a reason to feast, and ignored all the horrible things that we did wrong. Also, since the Christmas season officially kicks off when Black Friday sales begin, and this year Black Friday sales start before dinnertime, Thanksgiving is just a formality. So why not skip it? It's only one day, and the world will not come to an end should you decide to do something else. Here are all the best ways to boycott Thanksgiving this year.
1. Stay Home, Alone
Take this as a paid staycation for you and only you as a way to recharge. Close the blinds, don't leave the house all day, and enjoy some quality time with yourself.
2. Watch Christmas Movies, All Day Long
Since you're skipping Turkey Day, you might as well dive right into Christmas and binge on classics like Elf, Love Actually, and A Christmas Story. And snacking on red and green candy can only enhance the jingle-bell mood.
3. Or Action Movies, With Lots of Explosions
Forget Christmas, and just escape via Bruce Willis' greatest hits. Car chases, gun fights, and exploding boats will help you forget all of your worries, for sure.
4. Eat Anything But Turkey for Dinner
For some reason, turkey is a must for Thanksgiving, and any other main course for dinner would seem insane. So lean into your holiday rebellion and eat anything, anything else. Like pizza, perhaps?
5. Make a List of Everything You Hate
The opposite of sharing what you're grateful for is unleashing a list of things you hate. And this is just as therapeutic, even if it seems negative. But make sure you keep your list to yourself, or you'll end up in a serious pickle.
6. Shop Black Friday Sales, For Yourself
Instead of buying gifts for others, #TreatYoSelf.
7. Eat Cake for Dessert
Much like turkey is a dinner staple, pie seems to be the dessert staple for Thanksgiving. Give the pilgrims the middle finger by eating cake instead. Because if they genuinely thought pie was somehow better than cake? Then they were monsters.
8. Do Zero Dishes
At some point, after all the mashed potatoes have been inhaled and the turkey has been gobbled, someone is on clean-up duty. When you're carrying a 10-pound food baby, doing anything other than napping is exhausting. Since you're boycotting, don't even soak the pots and pans. Don't do a darn thing tonight. Save it for tomorrow.
Image: Home Alone/Twentieth Century Fox; Giphy (8)