Ugh, Just Stop Whining About the Bike Nicole

Guys, big news, Nicole Kidman got knocked over by a paparazzi on a bike, accidentally, and she's super pissed about it. And I mean super pissed. More than even seems reasonable. Because by all accounts, this was entirely by chance, and also like, it's a bicycle babe, not an SUV. So here is a succinct list of why this entire thing is silly, so that you don't have to continue reading updates about Nicole Kidman being every bit as fussy and annoying as you imagined she would be. You're welcome.

1) She wasn't even injured.

2) She called the police anyway ... even though she wasn't injured.

3) Not only did she call the po on this guy, she also screamed at him about pressing charges.

4) Is it even legally possible to press charges because someone accidentally hit you with their bike?

5) If so, it's still a seriously questionable thing to do when the only thing that got bruised was Nicole Kidman's pride.

6) The cops refused to arrest the paparazzo, because even they said, "an accident's an accident."

7) So why was he then forced to go to the police station? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM NICOLE KIDMAN.

There you have it.