19 Things Everyone Gets Irrationally Upset About Because Some Small Things Really Are Worth Getting Outraged Over
We all get super pissed over nothing. It happens, so don’t pretend like you don’t. No, it’s not PMS (and seriously? Don’t even go there), no we’re not psychotic, and no we’re not “just tired,” although that may very well be a factor. There are just certain annoyances that are small, yet insurmountably damaging and claw at our sanity. Sure, some of us deal with them better than others. Some play it cool and pretend like nothing is happening. Whereas others take to Twitter or scream into a pillow to regain composure. Do whatever you need to do to quell the irrational rage, boo.
Everyone has their One Tiny Thing They Cannot Stand, and for many, we have a ton of those tiny things. A mismatched plate, an e-mail from an address you distinctly remember categorizing as “spam,” or the way your upstairs neighbor insufferably plays nothing but Queen for weeks on end (bless Queen, for real, but come on—mix it up!) are all perfectly reasonable things to get irrationally angry about. Here are 19 more reasons that have probably driven you to gloriously overreact at some point or another:
1. When the bed sheets keep slipping off the mattress
And you have to tug them back on every single time you go to sleep, even though you know you should just re-make the bed, or get new sheets that actually fit your mattress. But that’s way too much work, so you keep tugging the sheets back on and cussing out inanimate objects.
2. When your favorite jeans stretch out and you realize you no longer love them anymore
They were perfect when you tried them on in the dressing room. They’re the most wonderful blue, they make your ass look fantastic, and they don’t do that weird slouchy-crotch thing that so many jeans tend to do for some reason. But after wearing them for a few hours, you realize in utmost horror that there are not the jeans that you once knew and loved. Everything is saggy. Everything is not okay.
3. The microscopic bubbles in our freshly polished nails
This happens even when you take the time to buff your nails, apply a layer of bottom coat, and use nail polish you paid way too much for, clearly. You could re-do your nails, but you’d rather just seethe in anger and examine the wretched bubbles every five minutes for the rest of the week.
4. When you see someone typing on Facebook, Gchat, or your phone and then they stop
You know I can see you typing. What’s the hold up? You were going to tell me something. Tell me. Tell me. Now. Tell me now before I have a nervous breakdown and have to call you (and no one wants that).
5. Wet sandwiches
Packing a sandwich to work almost never ends well, let’s be real. There is a reason why going out to lunch or ordering in is preferable to pretending to enjoy soggy, tomato juice-soaked bread. And even when you're pretending, you're really just anger-sobbing on the inside because you probably spent a lot of time making this sandwich, and look at how it's turned on you.
6. Opening a bag of chips in a slightly odd way and having them spill everywhere
Not only are you hangry, but now you have to clean up a bunch of salty, oily crumbs. Why can’t bags of chips just open for you? Why do I have to think of every worthwhile invention myself?
7. When you post a photo to Instagram and nobody likes it except for some creepy rando
For the rest of the day, you keep refreshing your Instagram, hoping to see more usernames under your new insta. You debate deleting it because of its unpopularity, but this pisses you off more, because you’ve seen photos of carpet get more likes than your seflie. What is wrong with everyone?
8. Being told to “chill”
Yes, I'm excited about something and I don't feel like using my inside voice. So what?
9. Seeing people you hate have really good hair days on Instagram or Facebook
How. dare. they. You thought they were just automatically doomed to be average and fashionably beneath you forever, and now they’ve one-upped you with their annoyingly perfect hair like think they own the world or something. Get outta here.
10. Observing a mom with like six kids and two strollers look way more put-together and on point than you ever will
She’s wearing Tory Burch flats and carrying a Kate Spade or Marc Jacobs tote bag. She has her hair in an impeccable ballerina bun (something that takes you an hour and endless hair product to perfect), and she’s wearing just the right amount of makeup that makes her look like Gwyneth Paltrow after she’s downed a bottle of water. How. Why not you? Why?
11. When you buy a nail polish only to realize it’s the tester bottle
And there’s probably only a quarter of polish left in the bottle. You *could* just go back to Target and admit you accidentally bought the wrong bottle, but how lame will you look? So lame.
12. When someone you thought was kind of lame likes the same band you’ve been obsessing over
You are horrified and wonder if your tastes and standards in music have lowered. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening.
13. When somebody who makes more money than you does not grasp basic grammar
Your sister’s WASPy CEO husband sends out a mass e-mail and he totally mixes up “your” and “you’re” and at first, you laugh at him and think what a buffoon he truly is. This then evolves into eventual anger, because how could someone who mixes up “your” and “you’re” be more successful than you? Doesn’t the universe have standards? Apparently not, so screw you, universe.
14. When you order a salad and there is slightly not enough dressing on it
But it’s not like there’s no dressing, so asking your waitress for more dressing seems really unnecessary and bratty.
15. When you get a little bit of deodorant on your black shirt
And you even try that trick where you rub your shirt together, but it’s no use. You now have a line of white on your black shirt, and it’s not coming off until laundry day.
16. When your bangs dry really awkwardly
There’s nothing you can really do except wet your bangs and try again, but do you really even have the energy?
17. Not being able to find your lip balm in your bag because it’s filled with so much crap
You purposely bought a big bag because you thought it would be easier to carry all your garbage, but in fact, it’s made the situation a thousand times worse. Now, your bag is an abyss filled with receipts and cracker crumbs and pens and a movie ticket from two months ago. Oh, and your lip balm. Which you cannot even find. FML indeed.
18. When you're waiting to park, and the person with their reverse lights on stays in their spot forever
I guess that's cool. You could, like, not be considerate of other humans besides yourself. Hey, whatever. Hanging out here and blocking traffic is everything I always wanted. Please keep chilling out in your car for no reason, most awesome person.
19. When someone eats something delicious in front of you and doesn’t even offer any like a rude, greedy jerk
But then you realize it’s not like you would share either. Maybe we're all just jerks.
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