Google Translate is a beautiful if not occasionally (and hilariously) misguided invention that allows us to understand what people speaking foreign languages are saying. The technology is advanced enough that we even have a Google lens that can capture motion and translate sign language into spoken word. However, I doubt we will ever have the adequate technology to translate and understand this woman who walks through a natural history museum and refutes evolution for an entire half an hour. That's right -- someone follows her with a camera, and like a world-weary cop in a soap opera laying out a crime scene, she points and stops at nearly everything in the exhibit and then "explains" how it is a lie.
The "Evolving Earth" exhibit from the Field Museum in Chicago is the poor unsuspecting victim of Megan Fox (no, clearly not that Megan Fox), a woman who walked through with the camera to "audit" the museum. (I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that her business there wasn't official.) Watching her go through and get steadily more enraged with every piece of information she reads is kind of like watching a train wreck, except that I'm assuming if I were watching a train wreck I wouldn't be laughing so hard.
A few choice quotes:
“This is Darwin’s thinking from like a hundred years ago, and we should know better by now. We should really know better by now.”
“I don’t want to hear your theories about how creatures came from one cell when you can’t prove it to me.”
"Maybe, MAYBE it was alien-created. No one knows! No one."
"And then the technician told me, 'No, that's not a dragon, that's a dinosaur.' Yeah, you've gotta dash the hopes of my little children cuz their imaginations, they just can't have that."
"Neanderthal man technically could have been a man that they found with a really big forehead."
But really, don't take my word for it. You deserve to go on this little adventure with Everyone's New Favorite Megan Fox yourself:
Images: YouTube; Giphy (5)
