So, Gluten Face and Wine Face Are Things...

As soon as I read the terms "gluten face," "wine face" and "dairy face," I was pretty sure I had them all (or at the very least, the first one.) And that's without even knowing what they meant. I figured, if there's something out there called "gluten face," there's no way I don't have that. Upon further investigation, I discovered that my hunch was correct. I am a victim of gluten face.

At her LA event celebrating the launch of her new line, celebrity makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury enlisted her doctor and aesthetician Dr. Nigma Talib to give guests including Kim Kardashian, Kate Bosworth and Lily Allen "face readings," reports the New York Observer. So, basically she's like a psychic for your face, but with science and stuff.

The facialist, who counts Sienna Miller as a client, is registered naturopathic doctor, and she's a strong believer that beauty comes from the inside — literally. “People come to me for a face treatment, and end up with a full health check, because youthful, great-looking skin is always an inside job,” she told the newspaper.

Her treatment often begins with what her clients are putting in their body, not on their face. With dietary changes, she endeavors to combat the aforementioned "gluten face," "dairy face" and "wine face."

"Dairy face is quite bloated with dark circles, wine face is dehydrated, so lines are more pronounced, and gluten face is actually belly bloat, which also shows up as puffiness in the face," she explains.

Yeah. Gluten face is a thing in my life.

So, how? According to the Observer, digestive issues lead to hormonal imbalances, which causes what Dr. Talib deems "gut aging," which in turn causes tired, dry skin that looks older than it is.

I can actually vouch for the skin improvement that comes with cutting wheat products, because I've been gluten-free for extended periods (three to six months) a few times over the past few years. It wasn't so much about losing weight (although that was an added bonus) as it was about upping my energy levels and just feeling better all around. All three times, my sluggishness dissipated, my back pain subsided, and my skin had honestly never looked better. It had a little glow to it, and I rarely broke out.

I fell out of it each time because it is hard, guys — especially when you're seriously limiting products labeled "gluten free," which are honestly just as bad (and sometimes worse) than their wheat-filled counterparts. I have some major respect for people who have Celiac Disease and major gluten intolerances, because they don't get to just decide to stop because they'd give anything for a croissant. So while I'm back on the stuff for now, this "gluten face" thing is reminding me of how great my skin is when I'm steering clear of it, and it has me thinking about reverting back to my wheat-free ways.

But obviously, not till after the holidays. Because Christmas cookies. I can deal with the less-than-stellar skin for a while — that's what makeup's for.

For right now, I'm praying I don't get wine face. I just don't think I could give that up. [Insert wine glass emoji here]