Thursday morning brought the realization that the work week is almost over, in addition to bringing the 72nd annual Golden Globe nominations. As exciting as it is to see some of our favorite TV shows, movies, actors, and actresses recognized for their talents, we also, of course, experience heartbreak over those snubbed. For example, Orphan Black's Tatiana Maslany was yet again excluded from the list of nominees. Why does this keep happening? It's an emotional dance that I refuse to keep dancing. Does the Hollywood Foreign Press not realize Maslany is a remarkable talent playing 5,000 roles? (I realize she doesn't actually portray that many characters, but at times it sure seems like it.)
With each season, each character, and each story line, Maslany proves she is a force to be reckoned with. At least her peers and the SAG Awards honored Maslany with a nom, right? I guess we're going in the right direction. Until every award show begins including this amazing woman who can do no wrong, in my opinion, let's have some fun.
Even though Maslany wasn't nominated, that doesn't mean we can't honor each of the clones with their very own award, right? With that said, here are a few categories each clone would definitely dominate in.
And the winner is Sarah Manning! Remember that time Sarah, with the help of Cosima and Scott, shot that pencil straight into Rachel's eye? Or how about that time she tackled Rachel to the ground? Yep, don't mess with Sarah — or her family.
Best Use of a Hot Glue Gun for Torture
And the winner is Alison Hendrix! Talk about a makeshift weapon. No one does torture like Alison, especially when she uses her hot glue gun on her husband.
And the winner is Cosima Niehaus! Out of all the characters, Cosima sure knows how to tug at the heartstrings the most. Seriously, Cosima, stop making me use an entire tissue box for every episode.
And the winner is Helena! This is pretty much a given. Helena has quite the appetite and she isn't afraid to show it. I wouldn't have her any other way.
Best Emotional Wreck
And the winner is Rachel Duncan! There's no doubt that Rachel is harboring a ton of emotions. From anger to sadness to guilt to regret, she takes out her feelings on anyone and everyone, especially when she's having awkward angry sex with Paul.
Best "Sister Kisser"
And the winner is Tony Sawicki! Tony, formerly Antoinette, is the very first transgender clone. He sure knows how to make an entrance, enjoy heavy metal music, and have lots of sexual tension with Felix.
Best Group Dance... Ever
And the winner is the entire Clone Club! This dance needs no explanation.